My 6-pack is very important to me, that's why I cover it with a layer of fat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Who could say why a family decided to have a certain style, to tell the jokes it did, to put up its… — Meg Wolitzer Copy Share Image
“We weren't really friends yet, just knowers of each other's secret stuff.” — M. Beth Bloom Copy Share Image
Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it. — Colin Quinn Copy Share Image
“Please do not masturbate while I do your feet. I cannot take another moaning horny white woman this week.” — Avery Aster Copy Share Image
I think anyone who can pretend to have a sense of humor long enough, may actually, eventually grow one. — Cellan Slarcas Copy Share Image
Christmas: The only time of the year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out… — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
It's a guy thing really means There's no rational thought pattern connected with it and you can't make it logical. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Laughter almost ever cometh of things most disproportioned to ourselves and nature: delight hath a joy in it either permanent or present;… — Philip Sidney Copy Share Image
“Byron clapped Walter on the back. 'Good work,' he said. Walter shook his head. 'You're the one who clocked her with the… — Michael Thomas Ford Copy Share Image
Performing comedy in San Francisco to begin with is pretty wild. You've got to - you've got the human game preserve to… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
It's one of my favourite types of comedy, just the awkward moments on camera. For many people, it's unbearable to watch, but… — Jason Jones Copy Share Image
Okay, sense of humor: plus one. Being able to laugh at yourself: plus one. Being able to laugh at other people without… — Katie Aselton Copy Share Image
“Please welcome Professor Varen Nethers, famous depressed dead poets historian and author of the bestselling books Unlocking your Poe-tential: A Writer's Guide… — Kelly Creagh Copy Share Image
If two people are in a relationship and it works for both of them, the best you can do is to stay… — Tshepo Koos Maluleke Copy Share Image
“It'll be all right, Clay. Really." "So you say, but you have a persecution complex and delusions of grandeur." "That's true," Tom… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
Every question has an answer! It depends on how will you accept the answer to the question. — Mc Vinzed Copy Share Image
“Hey, it's me. Just checking if you were dead. If you aren't, call me. If you are, call me anyway.” — Mark Del Franco Copy Share Image
Funny and sad are two sides of the same coin. I think that most comedians are able to tap into deep subject… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
“I mean, wha comfort does pretendin to be a Buddhist or wharrever give him? What's wrong with pretendin to be a Catholic… — Trevor Byrne Copy Share Image
“Do you work for Starbox? If so, I can't say I dig your new marketing strategy.” — Jonathan Maberry Copy Share Image
People who have heard of me have heard of me mostly through presenting and asked, 'Why have you gone into comedy?' — Ellie Taylor Copy Share Image
I never wanted to do observational humor because I never wanted to tell people what they were seeing. — Richard Lewis Copy Share Image
“And if the Colonel thought that calling me his friend would make me stand by him, well, he was right.” — John Green Copy Share Image
i fight with love and i laugh with rage…you gotta live light enough to see the humor, and long enough to see… — Ani DiFranco Copy Share Image
“All other beer is ass, and I will not put in the the work to acquire the taste for things that taste… — Baratunde R. Thurston Copy Share Image
“Ronan said, "I'm always straight." Adam replied "Oh, man, that's the biggest lie you've ever told.” — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Sense of humor is important in life, not just in clothing. How boring to live a life in beige. — Jean Pigozzi Copy Share Image
“Look within yourself. But to do that, you'll need to find your body. The police are still searching. No luck though.” — The Nightvale Podcast Copy Share Image
Comedy, if it's done well, can reflect the mood of a nation. It can be a mirror to who we are, what… — Brad Stine Copy Share Image
So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
Taking a night off from comedy to go on a date with someone I'm probably not going to like anyway sounds like… — Michelle Wolf Copy Share Image
I love 'Monty Python,' 'Black Adder,' 'Fawlty Towers.' I'm a huge fan of British comedy. — Isla Fisher Copy Share Image
That's Washington. That's the place where you find people getting ready to jump out of the foxholes before the first shot is… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
The man who tries to be funny is lost. To lose one's naturalness is always to lose the sympathy of your audience. — Harold Lloyd Copy Share Image
“Elizabeth Bennet, will you do me the great honor of not going to prom with me?” — Elizabeth Eulberg Copy Share Image
Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants. — Andy Warhol Copy Share Image
“My fear of camping: I’m convinced bugs will crawl up my vagina and lay eggs. Isn’t everyone?” — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
