Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy is a science. Every comedian is a psychology major, naturally. — Eddie Griffin Copy Share Image
After the war, Prohibition was passed, and with liquor no longer legally available the nation plunged headlong into the Great Depression. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There's sketch, improv, writing, acting, music, and badminton. Those are the seven forms of comedy. — T. J. Miller Copy Share Image
“ Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.” — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels…” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
As far as just my stand-up is concerned, I don't care about changing anyone's mind. I'm not making an argument. I'm a… — David Cross Copy Share Image
I like books that are funny, but that aren't trying to be funny. I like situational humor. — Shiloh Fernandez Copy Share Image
“...Rusty followed. “You should probably pull out your gun. Whatever is in there made enough noise to make me believe it wasn’t… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
“If a writer rewrites an essay, people who read the new version are unlikely to complain that their thoughts have been broken… — Paul Graham Copy Share Image
“Terrible accident; body parts was everywhere—-fingers, toes, wings, beaks. Ambulance people tried to scoop him all up, but apparently it ain’t so… — R.J. Leahy Copy Share Image
Raju Gadu' is a situational comedy where I play a fun and bubbly character. She's a proper Andhra girl who's modern but… — Amyra Dastur Copy Share Image
“Catfish always drink alcoholic ether if begged, for every catfish enjoys heightened intoxication; gross indulgence can be calamitous, however; duly, garfish babysit… — John Green Copy Share Image
“Jenny: But surely Lord Blakely could not abandon his estates for so long. Gareth: No. Lord Blakely could not. Not unless he… — Courtney Milan Copy Share Image
“eight pillars of joy. Four were qualities of the mind: perspective, humility, humor, and acceptance. Four were qualities of the heart: forgiveness,… — Dalai Lama XIV Copy Share Image
“See, there's this place called an Apple Store and I qwnr rhwew, picked one out. They didn't have any stock.' He paused… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
I could tell you what my good qualities are. There's my honesty; I have a very wacky, kind of dry humor that… — Shannen Doherty Copy Share Image
“Was it not a comedy, a strange and stupid matter, this repetition, this running around in a fateful circle?” — Hermann Hesse Copy Share Image
I am a grown man who is an entertainer with a specific type of humour and if you don't like it, that's… — Bianca Del Rio Copy Share Image
If you're in scenes with a guy you know really well in a comedy, you tend to crack each other up too… — Billy Bob Thornton Copy Share Image
“See. I told you I would get that boy to the alter eventually. All I had to do was pretend I was… — Olivia Parker Copy Share Image
I'm a big comedy nerd, so I'm always looking for the chance to be funny. — Colin Hanks Copy Share Image
If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I consider myself to have a decent sense of humor. What's life without a sense of humor? — Mayer Hawthorne Copy Share Image
My fans are so funny, they make me laugh so much. I've got some really, really, funny, clever fans. — Ellie Goulding Copy Share Image
“It is sometimes easier to overcome our defeats than it is to overcome our victories.” — C.L. Gammon Copy Share Image
There's a common misconception with sketch comedy that you just go up there and wing it, but it's written, and there really… — Adam Pally Copy Share Image
There are three sides to an argument, your side, my side, and the right side, which is still my side! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Men were just plain ridiculous with how little time it took them to get handsome.” — Gina Robinson Copy Share Image
“You’d have been scared too if that big troglodyte had put his hands on you. He smelled like dirty socks and store… — Aaron Crabill Copy Share Image
“Daddy, how come in Kansas City the bagels taste like just round bread?” — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Our new faith-based laws have removed government as a roadblock to people of faith who hear the call. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Everyone is a little crazy. The only difference between us and them is that they hide it better.” — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
“If you start Forrest Gump at exactly 10:38:57 PM on New Years Eve, you can ring in the new year with Lieutenant Dan.” — stained hanes Copy Share Image
My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me." — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
“Violet Lynn Parker, you’d better spill or I’ll start bellowing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you in my Bobcat Goldthwait voice.” — Ann Charles Copy Share Image
“Do you hear it? The loud noise from the room at night? Never mind, It's just my mom snoring.” — Sarah Willey Copy Share Image
That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
“She needed to come with an instructional manual. And one not written in Spanish.” — Kelly Moran Copy Share Image
She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of… — Alice Walker Copy Share Image
