“Will men recollect the power in themselves if one is capable of initiating a god into an action” — kwame grundow Copy Share Image
Witty closing remarks have been replaced by massive head trauma and severe hemorrhaging. — Jhonen Vasquez Copy Share Image
“Yes, my style sucks. But at least I didn't bowl half a game with a nacho stuck to my ass.” — Sara Wolf Copy Share Image
“If you were anyone else, your nuts would be taking a long vacation, and the destination would be out of your mouth” — J.A. Saare Copy Share Image
Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
“It is not," Valency could hear her mother's prim, dictatorial voice asserting, "it is not MAIDENLY to think about MEN.” — L.M. Montgomery Copy Share Image
People who know me know that theres a light-hearted side, humour... But you could easily say I am cheeky. — Waris Ahluwalia Copy Share Image
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“I snipped off the stem and took a knee. "For you, my love. A rose by any other name would still smell… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Because of their DNA, most men loved a damsel in distress. Every time a man sees a pretty lass in trouble, even… — Mallika Nawal Copy Share Image
“Embroidery?" I sucked at embroidery. Aunt Hyacinth had tried to teach me, but we'd both given it up as a lost cause.Lucy,… — Alyxandra Harvey Copy Share Image
For me, the best thing about Cyberpunk is that it taught me how to enjoy shopping malls, which used to terrify me.… — Rudy Rucker Copy Share Image
When I'd watch myself coaching, I'd say, 'Man, I look bad,' but I never felt I didn't have a sense of humor… — Jeff Van Gundy Copy Share Image
“I mean really, how could an artistic individual stay grounded in the nitty-gritty of how many minutes per pound meat has to… — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
In a gray area, you don't have to provide an answer. And I don't want to. I don't want to make a… — Ramy Youssef Copy Share Image
“Amanda and I both paused to take in that bit of wisdom. And try to decide if it even was wisdom.” — Robin Brande Copy Share Image
There's not many comedy characters that make me laugh as much as The Rock does; it's nice to have a big muscly… — James Acaster Copy Share Image
“ Agatha Christie n . A silent, putrid fart committed by someone in this very room, and only one person knows whodunnit.” — VIZ Copy Share Image
“You put cow dung on my face?’ ‘Every day religiously until you were three. Why else do you think your skin is… — Renita D'Silva Copy Share Image
“Suddenly I had visions of being sent to prison, drilling until I fell over dead, or, at the very least, peeling potatoes… — Georg Rauch Copy Share Image
Maybe pretty women were always funny but only now decided to go into comedy, — Patricia Marx Copy Share Image
“Baby, I could watch you watching paint dry, and I still wouldn’t be bored.” Garrett Graham, my own personal sweet-talker.” — Elle Kennedy Copy Share Image
“That present she left in the bathroom was special. It's not a funk, it's a biological weapon. The Pentagon should be taking… — Gasmaskman Copy Share Image
I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“Instantly, the pair fell to groping one other as if each had puff the magic dragon at a rock concert in Woodstock.” — Tai Odunsi Copy Share Image
A lot of things matter in comedy - the script, the lines, your timing, the co-actor's timing, how it's shot. — Jitendra Kumar Copy Share Image
Some of the best and worst lies Ive ever told are excuses for why Im late. — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
“Hope is a funny thing when you think about it. It’s something you always have. You just have to believe you do.” — Laura Miller Copy Share Image
I didn't take anything from anyone - first of all. Second of all, I opened a comedy club with money that I… — Jon Lovitz Copy Share Image
“It was hard to listen to Goldwater and realize that a man could be half Jewish and yet sometimes appear twice as… — I.F. Stone Copy Share Image
“The police, finding a corpse with twenty-eight stab wounds in a bathtub, suspected foul play.” — Tim Kreider Copy Share Image
“We regarded each other sitting around the breakfast table with its big cardboard boxes of "Fear," "Chix," and "Rats.” — Donald Barthelme Copy Share Image
Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“Things that we do without knowing why are we doing them are usually the best things that we do.” — MInhal Mehdi Copy Share Image
“One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Other Republican candidates may retort to personal attacks and negative ads. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“You're from Florida. There's got to be more holes to hell in Florida than any other state.” — T. Kingfisher Copy Share Image
“You are so lost to your higher self that you would resent me for my achievements, rather than celebrate them with me,… — Ayn Rand Copy Share Image
“The very best people are like that. They don’t entangle you like flypaper.” — Alan Bradley Copy Share Image
