Humor Quotes · Page 435

Writing a comedy track is an art. It isn't as easy as people think. It can make or break a film.

— Vivek

Comedy is the difference between how you see a person and how they see themselves.

— Douglas Coupland

“Darling stop being philosophical, it doesn’t suit you, it makes your nose red.”

— Leonora Carrington

My secret to having a happy relationship is having a sense of humour and giving one another space: your own space.

— Iris Apfel

“Adolin sighed softly. “Of course. He’s probably their leader now or something. Storming bridgeboy.”

— Brandon Sanderson

The awkward moment, when Usain Bolt runs faster than your internet connection.

— Anonymous

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. So said by the idiot who can't understand it.

— Ramandeep Singh

“Selfishness from earth to hereafter: Thy pray and struggle, same by thee. Because life committed selfishness in living with the Democracy.”

— Deh Gel

“Satire is the antidote to Pollyanna and Dr. Pangloss. It focuses our gaze sharply upon the the contrast between things as they…

— Edgar Johnson

Nature, it appears, has been rather more bountiful to Paul's body and purse than to his intellect; above the ears, speaking bluntly,…

— S. J. Perelman

In truth, politeness is artificial good humor, it covers the natural want of it, and ends by rendering habitual a substitute nearly…

— Thomas Jefferson

Sometimes I think your intellect can get in your way as an actor or an artist. When you come from a world…

— Paul Dano

Comedy is hard to do, and I don't know why it doesn't have its own category in awards. I don't understand why…

— Leslie Mann

“Reseph had never been cruel or callous, had lived in fear of succumbing to his evil side. And if he was that…

— Larissa Ione

“A tip for increased sales or in situations of life or death: Try to always refer to the lady as Miss. or…

— Ginnetta Correli

“I thought you were makin’ small talk about the weather.” “When have I ever made small talk with you?” “When we first…

— Ann Charles

“I used to be a mddle-of-the-road kid, but now with my freaky looks I'm definately an outsider. Hooray.”

— Evan Kuhlman

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.

— Carol Burnett

No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor.

— Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common…

— Anonymous

The great British public is renowned throughout the world for its sense of humour.

— James William Middleton

'Billy on the Street' is a persona. It's crafted; it has writers. It's a mixture of performance art and comedy.

— Billy Eichner

“We all know I’m marrying you, as soon as you get over your thing with dog tags and realize a stethoscope is…

— Kandi Steiner

“Learn to find humor in the unending emotional drama the feminine seems to enjoy so much.”

— David Deida

I like being a funny lady. I think there's nothing sexier than a funny lady.

— Maya Rudolph

The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding…

— George Carlin

“Being divorced does not necessarily make one’s advice on marriage useless … or useful.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond…

— Dennis Miller

“If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it could be a really ugly swan.”

— Timmothy Radman

“Leave me alone to mourn the deaths of fictional characters I have become overly attached to.”

— Your Ecards

“There are few sources of energy so powerful as a procrastinating college student.”

— Paul Graham

“It's a wild, wild world of zoo. Cat's and dogs are like mountain Lion in the do.”

— Johnny Poetic

I don't think stand-up comedy is becoming too serious, in fact, I wish it was. We are still mostly doing frivolous stuff.

— Varun Grover

“Bridget's fiancé keeps giving her late-night booty calls. Although he has to ring at midday so she can get there in time.”

— Bridget Golightly

Normal person flirting: Hey Cutie wassup? Me flirting: Your face. I like that.

— Anonymous

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

— Steven Wright

I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.

— Bo Burnham

I love to write humor. If I could make a living doing it that is all I would write.

— W. E. B. Griffin

“The French have the right respect for dogs--in France we chiens get to go to lunch and dinner anytime, anywhere.”

— Sheron Long

“She had only a candle's light to see by, but candlelight never did badly by any woman.”

— John Fowles