The difference between a mosquito and a slut, when you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
“Illinois preschoolers were temporarily saved from the debilitating effects of cereal and milk.” — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
Jeffrey Zeldman had an astonishing ability to craft a seductive coolness using educated references, dry humor, and retro/organic imagery. — Matt Mullenweg Copy Share Image
“A lady decidedly. Fast? perhaps. Original? undoubtedly. Worth knowing? rather.” — George Egerton Copy Share Image
“I am a Christian, you know, Julia.' So am I. But I'm not above staying out of jail any way I can.” — Ann B. Ross Copy Share Image
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
“She's eighty-four and still has all her teeth. She keeps them in a little wooden box on her dressing table.” — Simon Hugh Wheeler Copy Share Image
The first night you walk down to a comedy club, at least for me, I had my voice, and then I went… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
“You get a kick out of shocking the pants off me, don’t you?” I shook my head with a smirk. He just… — M.A. George Copy Share Image
Any discussion of the problems of being funny in America will not make sense unless we substitute the word wit for humor.… — Florence King Copy Share Image
I've played every comedy club and every theatre across the country for the last 25 years and seen a lot of audience… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
“Having a dick is one of the most dangerous things on the planet. How many people are eaten by sharks each year?… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
“My eyes are not sparkly! I’m not a sparkly sort of girl … I go around with dirty knees and slay dragons… — Marc Secchia Copy Share Image
“There was a black marine called Philly Dog who'd been a gang lord in Philadelphia and who was looking forward to some… — Michael Herr Copy Share Image
“[At first, Calvin's at school, in his classroom.] CALVIN'S TEACHER: "We'll see what the principal has to say about your attention span,… — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
“I’m sure I have no idea what you are talking about PRINCESS.” He tilted his head and half curtseyed when he said… — B.C. Morin Copy Share Image
“Grisha, a fat, solemn little person of seven, was standing by the kitchen door listening and peeping through the keyhole.” — Anton Pavlovich Chejov Copy Share Image
I still want to do a romantic comedy or a western or a gritty independent film... there's so much that I still… — Laura Vandervoort Copy Share Image
Married people should not be quick to hear what is said by either when in ill humor. — Samuel Richardson Copy Share Image
The whole point of comedy, what's fun, is taking the stupid thought I had and working it into something that makes a… — Chris Cubas Copy Share Image
A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny. — Bobby Darin Copy Share Image
“Ash, you’re my sister and I love you. But some days you can be about as bright as a black hole.” — Karsten Knight Copy Share Image
I think humor is important for all of us, and a great comedian is a great treasure. — Leila Josefowicz Copy Share Image
Common ground is good. Being misunderstood, thats not good. Sometimes humor is good...Sometimes misunderstood... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It must be quite a shock to suddenly find out you're pregnant, seventeen times over—at your age, too.” — Lois McMaster Bujold Copy Share Image
“I understand toilets were not yet invented when you were born, but is it really so hard to put the seat down?” — Christy Gissendaner Copy Share Image
Along with a sense of humor, my songs have to be sincere, and they have to be sung from a position of… — Arlo Guthrie Copy Share Image
“Analyzing humor is like disecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” — E.B. White Copy Share Image
“The two men flashed edged smiles at each other, reminding Amaranthe of circling wolves, albeit extremely well-dressed wolves.” — Lindsay Buroker Copy Share Image
Baby you light up my world like nobody else I whisper as I turn my laptop brightness up. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Words have a knack of breeding more words, whereas laughter, a deafening, roaring laughter, has the knack of swallowing everything up.” — R.K. Narayan Copy Share Image
I've always been a fan of physical comedy. It kind of hits you in a different way; it bypasses the intellect and… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
Science would like to tell us that people laugh because of the benign violation theory, but comedy doesn't have hard rules. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Drama can feel like therapy whereas comedy feels like there's been a pressure and a weight lifted off of you. — Gabrielle Union Copy Share Image
I prefer the finesse of French humour. English humour is more scathing, more cruel, as illustrated by Monty Python and Little Britain. — Helen Mirren Copy Share Image
I do what I want, when I want, wherever I want!…as long as my mom says it's okay. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Stath Lets Flats' at its heart is a character comedy show about a family-run estate agents, but it's inspired by a real… — Natasia Demetriou Copy Share Image
“Haruna: Rather than Yoh's appearance, I much prefer his character! Yoh: To me those are fatal words...” — Kazune Kawahara Copy Share Image
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your… — G. Gordon Liddy Copy Share Image
Babies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people, they're silly and they're irritating. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
![“[At first, Calvin's at school, in his classroom.] CALVIN'S TEACHER: "We'll see what the principal has to say about your attention span, young man." A THOUGHT BUBBLE FANTASY FROM CALVIN's MIND (With visuals to match.) "The valiant Spaceman Spiff has been captured." A THOUGHT BUBBLE FANTASY FROM…” quote by Bill Watterson](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/63e/bill-watterson-728_attention-span_at-first-calvin-s-at-school-in-his-class_2747925.jpg)
