Humor Quotes · Page 412

I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.

— Rodney Dangerfield

What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz.

— Bob Saget

“there’s a big empty box filled with packaging peanuts and it’s totally calling my name.”

— H.M. Ward

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes.

— Desi Arnaz

“I don't now how you could not kid about love and still claim to have a sense of humor”

— Richard Russo

At times we were criticized for doing too much slapstick. I don't believe in mild comedy, and neither does Lucy.

— Desi Arnaz

Members rise from CMG (known sometimes in Whitehall as 'Call Me God') to KCMG ('Kindly Call Me God') to .. the GCMG…

— Anthony Sampson

“Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as…

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Hey, it's ten in the morning!' says Person, yelling at two farmers dressed in robes in the distance. 'Don't you think you…

— Evan Wright

“Our interactions were confined to a nod as I settled down into my seat. A few days into our routine and we…

— Josephine Myles

“Haven't you ever heard people say just be yourself? That’s terrible advice! What if a man was a drunken, illiterate bigot? Being…

— Arthur Daigle

“New Rule: Americans have to come up with a better cheese to represent the nation than American cheese. I'm not even sure…

— Bill Maher

If Bob Dylan really is an historian in and of himself in his work, in his performances, he is also an historian…

— Greil Marcus

“I was playing a new part in a new play: the messed-up adult child coming home in a truly pitiful state in…

— Inna Swinton

“Stubborn people make the best lovers. You tell them no, they say yes, you tell them get lost, they hang around, you…

— Benjamin Smith

I think comedy is a good way to help people change their minds. I think that if you're laughing and getting a…

— Maz Jobrani

“The only people who spoke to her were Jimmy Vaughn, who was sweet when he wasn’t wasted, though he was wasted all…

— Sarra Manning

“For the first time I realized I could be more than a crawling little pile of bones and flesh in a onesie.”

— Sarah Lofgren

I love it if comedy reflects real life because to me it's more reassuring that we'll get through.

— James L. Brooks

I've always been an actor. I've always approached all my comedy as an actor.

— Brett Gelman

For my money, I don't think there's been a better comedy than 'Kung Fu Hustle' in a lot of years. That movie…

— Adam McKay

“Have you got something against faith?” “Have you got something against reason?”

— Sam Hunter

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off,…

— Garrison Keillor

“Just what the doctor ordered, he says. A bottle of lemonade, a hard-boiled egg, and Thou.”

— Margaret Atwood

I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers.

— Steve Martin

You can get away with saying much more with humor than you can with a straight face

— Sherry Argov

My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark

— Rodney Dangerfield

Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.

— Robert Orben

Humor was not important only for me, humor was important for this nation for centuries, to survive, you know.

— Milos Forman

I have a great sense of humour. I am teasing, taunting and authoritative.

— Suhasini Maniratnam

“I've never been in love, but if a penguin can find a soul mate, I'm sure I can, too.”

— Rebekah Crane

I have a black sense of humor. You try living my life, see what color yours turns.

— Karen Marie Moning

“And tell me you didn't take him out in public today with that shirt on." We both look at Gavin's shirt that…

— Tara Sivec

Comedy [deals] with a lot of the same areas where our defenses are the strongest - race, religion, politics, sexuality.

— Chris Bliss

When you're doing sketch comedy and you're pregnant, it's like wearing a giant sombrero in every sketch.

— Amy Poehler

When I approach a character, I don't take it as comedy because I don't know how to do it.

— Sunil Grover

Humor is unavoidable. It might not feel funny in the moment, but more often than not there's a light at the end…

— Ron Howard

“For most people, I edit. Most people are definitely getting along on the Cliffs Notes.”

— Suzanne Finnamore

I admire that about the Republicans: The evidence does not faze them. They are not bothered at all by the facts.

— William J. Clinton

I have decided to leave my past behind, so if I owe you money, I'm SORRY, but I've moved on.

— Anonymous