“We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because, in England, he wouldn't be trusted with a… — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
“You have wondered perhaps, why all real accountants wear hats? They are today’s cowboys” — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
“Pause while reading a book only in case of two things: 1. To kiss 2. To sip coffee Too bad both are a luxury.” — Saleem Sharma Copy Share Image
“The raging burning pain was excruciating, causing me to throw up. I did however manage to remain conscious. Yay me!” — P.A. Lupton Copy Share Image
Humor is not the opposite of seriousness. Humor is the opposite of despair. — Conrad Hyers Copy Share Image
“Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I need to end up with someone who is strong, intelligent, independent, someone I really admire - sensitive, sensuous, warm, a sense… — Pam Dawber Copy Share Image
“Dear Fly, I love you. If you are a mouse I am cheese. If you are a cat I am a mouse.… — Casey Scieszka Copy Share Image
I grew up in Iowa, and the improv comedy club Comedy-Sportz across the river in Illinois held auditions. They took me even… — Eric Christian Olsen Copy Share Image
“But there is a key to handling everything from accidentally eating a blob of poop off your hand that in the sleepless,… — Stacey Hatton Copy Share Image
Our house was a place where you were welcome to make an idiot out of yourself. Silliness was valued. My dad worked… — Ty Burrell Copy Share Image
I’m instantly mortified by my fat, uncontrollable mouth, but that’s when it occurs to me that my humor is a self-defense mechanism.… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“He has a name." "Oh yeah. Skulduggery isn’t it?" Fletcher responded. "That’s an unusual one. Tell me were you born a skeleton… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
There's this whole post-modern, nuevo beatnik, retro-bohemian thing going on, you know what I mean? You walk into some coffee shops, and… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
Most of the time, my favorite drama has comedy in it as well. I think most good dramas have comedy in there.… — Adam Brody Copy Share Image
“Like most humans, I am hungry...our three basic needs, for food and security and love, are so mixed and mingled and entwined… — M.F.K. Fisher Copy Share Image
“Damn it, I should be the only one allowed to drool over him. I found him first! Or something not as stupid.” — Nicole Christie Copy Share Image
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
“Overhead announcement at psychiatric hospital: Lithium is no longer available on credit. ” — Earl Mac Rauch Copy Share Image
My wife... its difficult to say what she does... she sells seashells on the seashore. — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
“Daca crezi ca am sa accept o asemenea propunere iti faci o idee falsa despre univers.” — Vian, Boris Copy Share Image
part of the humor of living on this backward planet is listening to the hominids rationalize their predations. — Robert Anton Wilson Copy Share Image
A general truth is to have a good sense of humor. Roll with the punches of life's ups and downs. Laughing at… — Jill Abramson Copy Share Image
“So now you have it. The plot, the whole plot, and nothing but the plot.” — Elizabeth Peters Copy Share Image
Don't you love it when you're busy all you want to do is rest butttttttttttttt when your relaxing all you want to… — MrAwesome Copy Share Image
Frank Sinatra enjoyed my humor, so I could say almost anything to him. I mean, within reason. — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
“I do not think, Prospero,' he said, 'that one should attribute a very high degree of reality to your house.” — John Bellairs Copy Share Image
There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
I've always been attracted to humor and funny people in general. It's a joy to make people laugh, but it's not as… — Jennifer Garner Copy Share Image
“boys don't like smart girls they like push-around-in-a-cart kinda girls target-for-their-dart kinda girls meat-for-their-shark kinda girls” — Casey Renee Kiser Copy Share Image
Good humor and enthusiasm should be the sunshine ahead that will keep that shadow behind. — Charles W. Field Copy Share Image
Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
“Having writers block sucks more than my actual writing. And my writing would be astonishing if I could write how I feel.” — Ally Spina Copy Share Image
I believe I was at the peak of my enlightenment when I use to say you want fries with that. — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
“Kadang-kadang, kata-kata yang kita ucapkan emang nggak sesuai sama mukamu.” — Windhy Puspitadewi Copy Share Image
I want to do comedy films, serious films - I admire the actors who fly under the radar but get loads done,… — Craig Roberts Copy Share Image
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
You have to be quite aware that if you are really looking for something funny it is probably not going to happen. — Richard Herring Copy Share Image
Humor is this great equalizer. It gets people's defenses down, and once they're down, you can discuss some really difficult topics. — Luvvie Ajayi Copy Share Image
I spent 11 years at 'The Daily Show,' and I learned everything there about how to write funny, how to write funny… — David Javerbaum Copy Share Image
