Janet Evanovich

“Hey. I know dirty." Vinnie”

— Janet Evanovich

He had a body like batman

— Janet Evanovich

Bullets are creepy." Stephenie

— Janet Evanovich

Nice dress. Take it off.

— Janet Evanovich

What I do miss is the Jersey Shore.

— Janet Evanovich

“I’m short. I have to think tall.”

— Janet Evanovich

Saved by the grandma" Ranger

— Janet Evanovich

“Why would Munch want barium?”

— Janet Evanovich

“Babe!” Ranger shouted from the bathroom. “Come get your grandmother.”

— Janet Evanovich

I'm telling you, it's fu**ing hard to be classy

— Janet Evanovich

“...Don't you just hate a phony-looking stiff?" - Aunt Edna”

— Janet Evanovich

“You don’t have to be there to be there.”

— Janet Evanovich

“uh-oh," Ranger said. "you been reading those Nancy Drew books again?”

— Janet Evanovich

“Exercise improves your sex life. Ranger to Stephanie”

— Janet Evanovich

He's a good man," Ranger said. "And you?" "I'm better.

— Janet Evanovich

“His can of pepper spray was bigger than my can of pepper spray.”

— Janet Evanovich

“How we explain coincidences depends on how we see the world. Is everything connected or do things merely co-occur? It’s all in…

— Janet Evanovich

Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.

— Janet Evanovich

“This is part of the problem with the world today,” Diesel said. “People don’t believe in the mystical.”

— Janet Evanovich

I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward.

— Janet Evanovich

“I bet,” Lula said. “If it was me I would have been burning out the motor on my intimate appliances.”

— Janet Evanovich

On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next…

— Janet Evanovich

“My mother fainted. Crash, onto the floor with the big wooden spoon still in her hand.”

— Janet Evanovich

You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think?" Stuart Bagget

— Janet Evanovich

Thats what her cars do," Lula said. "They explode. But I gotta tell you this was the best. This here's the first…

— Janet Evanovich

We are a little messianic about our comic books! We feel like they deserve to be more legitimate, they deserve to get…

— Janet Evanovich

“I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control,…

— Janet Evanovich

“To celebrate our partnership I dressed up like Ranger. Black boots, black jeans, black turtleneck, small silver hoop earrings. He gave me…

— Janet Evanovich

“We're not going to die. You're with me kiddo and it just happens I know a few survival skills." "Oh yeah right.…

— Janet Evanovich

“It wouldn't kill you to flirt a little, so I don't remember this assignment as totally sucking. I'm babysitting a guy who…

— Janet Evanovich

You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and…

— Janet Evanovich

Why do you give me cars?" "It's fun," Ranger said."And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you…

— Janet Evanovich

“It says here she held up a Frito-Lay truck?” “Apparently she was on that no-carbohydrate diet, got her period and snapped when…

— Janet Evanovich

“Steph?” “Huh?” I still had my hands on his stomach, and I could feel him laughing. “I can smell something burning, babe.…

— Janet Evanovich

“[Stephanie] "This won't be so bad," I said to her, making an effort at convincing myself. "How about your blanket? We could…

— Janet Evanovich

“He's a Stone Dead gang member. He'll be hanging with the other Deads, and the Deads own the fifth block of Stark.…

— Janet Evanovich

Fine. Let Ranger get someone else. Trust me, you don't want to be out looking for a parking place on Sloane in…

— Janet Evanovich

That might work," I said. "I'm good at faking it." This led to a couple moments of uncomfortable silence from both of…

— Janet Evanovich

Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts.…

— Janet Evanovich

“Yeah, I'm a thief." "Honey, that's such a turn-on." He reached for her, and she jumped away. "Stand down," Kate said. "My…

— Janet Evanovich