“My mother fainted. Crash, onto the floor with the big wooden spoon still in her hand.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“My father would eat cat shit if it was salted, fried, or frosted, but it took an act of Congress to get… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Shit for brains,” Leo’s father said. “That’s what you got … shit for brains.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Holy Mary, mother of God," my mother said. "You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“I don't want a new man." "I'll be dead someday," my mother said. "And then what? You'll wish you had someone." "I… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies. — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter."… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
My mother drove back to the intersection. "Who are you dating?" "Don't ask," I said. I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Everyone knows you can't see death cooties. Take my word for it, that couch has the biggest, fattest death cooties that ever… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“My mother slapped her forehead and rolled her eyes. “Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie, what are you thinking of? This is no kind of… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Stephanie,' Valerie said. 'She's going to have a baby, and she's getting married.' My father was confused. He looked around the room.… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
My mother had been slicing up the chicken. She took a drumstick and dropped it on the floor. She kicked it around… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
My father hired you to protect me," Ahmed said, "not to go off chasing men." Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“OKAY, SO HERE’S the thing. My mother’s worst fear has come true. I’m a nymphomaniac. I lust after a lot of men.… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
My father was in the kitchen putting a new washer in the kitchen faucet. He looked relieved to see Morelli standing in… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts.… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“My mother was in the kitchen ironing. Physically she’s a younger version of my Grandma Mazur, and physically I’m a younger version… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“This is a little awkward," I said, "but my mother just ran over the rabbit." "Ran over?" "As in roadkill. We're not… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“You sure you don't want to go?” Grandma Mazur asked my mother. “I didn't know Moogey Bues,” my mother told her. “I've… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Maybe it's just not the right time for us to be married. I don't want to be a bounty hunter for the… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Yeah. Almost as surprising as when you nailed me with your father's car." In the interest of avoiding confrontation, I felt compelled… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Grandma has a .45 long barrel that she keeps hidden from my mother. She got it from her friend Elsie, who picked… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“My mother came into the kitchen. “Whose car is that parked in front of our house?” “That’s Stephanie’s new car,” Grandma said.… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“In my father’s scheme of things, there were Italians and then there was the rest of the world.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Does your mother know that you're carrying a gun? I'm going to tell her. I'm going to call and tell her right… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“My father is an equal opportunity bigot. He wouldn’t deprive a man of his rights. And he’s not a hate-filled man. He… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Does your mother know that you're carrying a gun? I'm going to tell her. I'm going to call and tell her right… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Nothing Personal? You've harrassed my mother, stolen my car, and now you're telling people I've gotten you pregnant! In my opinion, getting… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
She doesn’t know,” Cate said. “Kellen is a secret. I didn’t think my mother would approve.” “Why wouldn’t your mother approve?” Pugg… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“His pager beeped, and he looked at the readout. “I have to get back to Deal. Do you have any secret weapons in your… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli. "No. Were discussing." "Are you sure?" "Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
“changed expression. Wariness, maybe. I felt a body move so close it was skimming my own, and a warm hand protectively settled at the… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble. — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
“Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out. — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
Way back before the 'Alex Barnaby' series was first published, we were talking with Dark Horse then about making it into a graphic novel… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
“He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
I write to entertain. When people read one of my books I want them to finish with a smile on their faces, feeling a… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
“I hate shopping for clothes," Kate said. "I liked when I was in the military and all I needed was camouflage gear." "Shopping can… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
“I’m told there’s a paint specialist in Denver who does wonderful work,” Judy said. “I’ve started a GoFundMe page for Mr. Murphy.” “That’s a… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
![“He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us. "I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said. [Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked." "I wish you hadn't told…” quote by Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/248/janet-evanovich-291_babe_he-ranger-stopped-in-front-of-my-parents_2142810.png)
