My mom watches really obscure stuff on IFC. She's a real comedy fan. She knows everything that's going on. — Kate McKinnon Copy Share Image
How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs. — Dominic Holland Copy Share Image
The Sneeze' is comedy - it's five short plays and it was Chekhov showing his comedic streak. — Amanda Redman Copy Share Image
“And we all know how ladies get minks . . .” Popsy and Sandra chorused the answer together. “The same way minks get minks!” — Suzy Duffy Copy Share Image
I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am. — Jennifer Aniston Copy Share Image
That one password you use for everything and if anyone ever figured it out they could single-handedly ruin your entire life. — Jugi Steady Copy Share Image
Queen Elizabeth of England is the real fashion icon of the century. And she has a sense of humor. — Carolina Herrera Copy Share Image
My music is basically all about witty punchlines and lyric progression that is aimed to make you laugh or say "Woah." — Mike Stud Copy Share Image
Right now I'm sick of acting, so it's like, Maybe I'll do writing for a bit. Then, when I'm tired of writing,… — Charlyne Yi Copy Share Image
“ She gave him a cool glance over her shoulder. "May your balls wither away and you develope an allergy to Viagra… — Iris Johansen Copy Share Image
“Puns are the lowest form of humor,” he proclaimed the cliché proudly. “Shakespeare used puns,” I observed. “You are not Shakespeare.” I… — Hamish De'Lamet Copy Share Image
“He thinks himself rather an exceptional young man, thoroughly sophisticated, well adjusted to his environment, and somewhat more significant than any one… — F. Scott Fitzgerald Copy Share Image
“He's got this thing about Canada. He says it's like America only with health care and no guns, and you can live… — Ruth Ozeki Copy Share Image
“Detective Virgil and Barlow [bomb-technician] arranged to meet at the Starbucks. Virgil got a grande hot chocolate, no-fat milk, no foam, no… — John Sandford Copy Share Image
“I’m starting to think Mordecai bound you to someone’s grandmother instead of the earth, because that’s what you’re starting to sound like!”… — Michael G. Manning Copy Share Image
If someone tells me they've read my tweets since the early days, I feel like I know them; they know my highs… — Rachel Sennott Copy Share Image
“Oh my God. Oh my God, J.P. is in love with me. And we blew up the school.” — Meg Cabot Copy Share Image
I'm not a comedian. I didn't study sketch comedy; my background isn't that. — Paul Rudd Copy Share Image
Seeing the energy of 'SNL' made me want to be a part of it. If that was a job, I thought, that… — Olivia Wilde Copy Share Image
“I've always felt I deserved a wider audience, so thank you for reading this.” — Ivana Hruba Copy Share Image
“People who are easily offended should live on an island to avoid offenses!” — Mary Hall-Rayford Copy Share Image
The ability to make witty observations is commonly refered to as "cynism" by people who lack it. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“You have wondered perhaps, why all real accountants wear hats? They are today’s cowboys” — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any… — E. B. White Copy Share Image
“We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because, in England, he wouldn't be trusted with a… — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
“I do beg your pardon. Let's literally throw up, but figuratively throw down.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Did I play my role well? If so, then applause, because the comedy is finished! — Augustus Copy Share Image
Humor is not the opposite of seriousness. Humor is the opposite of despair. — Conrad Hyers Copy Share Image
“Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“The raging burning pain was excruciating, causing me to throw up. I did however manage to remain conscious. Yay me!” — P.A. Lupton Copy Share Image
“Pause while reading a book only in case of two things: 1. To kiss 2. To sip coffee Too bad both are a luxury.” — Saleem Sharma Copy Share Image
My wife... its difficult to say what she does... she sells seashells on the seashore. — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
“Daca crezi ca am sa accept o asemenea propunere iti faci o idee falsa despre univers.” — Vian, Boris Copy Share Image
“Overhead announcement at psychiatric hospital: Lithium is no longer available on credit. ” — Earl Mac Rauch Copy Share Image
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
“Dear Fly, I love you. If you are a mouse I am cheese. If you are a cat I am a mouse.… — Casey Scieszka Copy Share Image
“Damn it, I should be the only one allowed to drool over him. I found him first! Or something not as stupid.” — Nicole Christie Copy Share Image
I need to end up with someone who is strong, intelligent, independent, someone I really admire - sensitive, sensuous, warm, a sense… — Pam Dawber Copy Share Image
Frank Sinatra enjoyed my humor, so I could say almost anything to him. I mean, within reason. — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
Don't you love it when you're busy all you want to do is rest butttttttttttttt when your relaxing all you want to… — MrAwesome Copy Share Image
![“Detective Virgil and Barlow [bomb-technician] arranged to meet at the Starbucks. Virgil got a grande hot chocolate, no-fat milk, no foam, no whipped cream, and Barlow got a venti latte with an extra shot. As they took a corner table, Virgil said, “Remind me not to stand next to you if you’re…” quote by John Sandford](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/b62/john-sandford-5843_coffee_detective-virgil-and-barlow-bomb-technic_3104354.jpg)
