Humor Quotes · Page 306

“So now you have it. The plot, the whole plot, and nothing but the plot.”

— Elizabeth Peters

A general truth is to have a good sense of humor. Roll with the punches of life's ups and downs. Laughing at…

— Jill Abramson

part of the humor of living on this backward planet is listening to the hominids rationalize their predations.

— Robert Anton Wilson

“Having writers block sucks more than my actual writing. And my writing would be astonishing if I could write how I feel.”

— Ally Spina

Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion.

— Jerry Coleman

“boys don't like smart girls they like push-around-in-a-cart kinda girls target-for-their-dart kinda girls meat-for-their-shark kinda girls”

— Casey Renee Kiser

Good humor and enthusiasm should be the sunshine ahead that will keep that shadow behind.

— Charles W. Field

I've always been attracted to humor and funny people in general. It's a joy to make people laugh, but it's not as…

— Jennifer Garner

Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try…

— James Thurber

“The television was on Florida Cable News. A gray-haired man behind the anchor desk reported near tragedy at a state motor vehicle…

— Tim Dorsey

“That dress…was a very, very good decision. I could write an entire poem on the virtues of your legs alone. You are…

— Colleen Houck

“I hold the biscuits in front of his face and he stands up. "What do I have to do?" he says. "Nothing,"…

— George Saunders

The line between humor and bad taste is your audience, in which some people will find everything offensive, and some people will…

— Robert Mankoff

“What is it, you ask?" Kali said, trying to cover her surprise with nonchalant words. "I haven't thought of a name yet.…

— Lindsay Buroker

When I started out doing comedy, I was still in college and was working day jobs. I taught preschool for a few…

— Josh Gondelman

“I suppose the fundamental distinction between Shakespeare and myself is one of treatment. We get our effects differently. Take the familiar farcical…

— P.G. Wodehouse

There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.

— Jerry Coleman

“I do not think, Prospero,' he said, 'that one should attribute a very high degree of reality to your house.”

— John Bellairs

I believe I was at the peak of my enlightenment when I use to say you want fries with that.

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

Girls want to be with guys who have a sense of humor-it makes them far more attractive to us.

— Drew Barrymore

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

— Rita Rudner

“A man who can set out in a cab for a fancy-dress ball and not get there is manifestly a poop of…

— P. G. Wodehouse

I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.

— Steven Wright

I spent 11 years at 'The Daily Show,' and I learned everything there about how to write funny, how to write funny…

— David Javerbaum

“Sweet Katilyn, you called me remember? There's nothing I wouldn't do for you?…”

— Jessica Wennberg

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

— Adam Carolla

Humor is this great equalizer. It gets people's defenses down, and once they're down, you can discuss some really difficult topics.

— Luvvie Ajayi

You have to be quite aware that if you are really looking for something funny it is probably not going to happen.

— Richard Herring

“Kadang-kadang, kata-kata yang kita ucapkan emang nggak sesuai sama mukamu.”

— Windhy Puspitadewi

I want to do comedy films, serious films - I admire the actors who fly under the radar but get loads done,…

— Craig Roberts

There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature - the malice of a good thing is the barb that makes…

— Richard Brinsley Sheridan

“Jo's nineteen hair-pins all seemed stuck straight into her head, which was not exactly comfortable; but, dear me, let us be elegant…

— Louisa May Alcott

“Decided to put aside ethnic differences in the cause of making more money.”

— Terry Pratchett

“Just because i have a fedora on doesn't mean i want to help solve crime, but it also doesn't mean that i…

— Kiersten Zeitler

“Women are really strange, if you think about it. But this was no ordinary woman. This was a succubus—a life sucking monster.”

— Justin Villanueva

If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.

— Jerry Coleman

“You know the look: genius gone to pot, and ready to join the Communist Party”

— William Saroyan

“Enough, gentlemen, enough! Show a New World marsupial a little respect”

— Sara Pascoe

One of the real ways out of conflict is humour. It builds bridges; it's a weapon against rigid ideology, narrow thinking, intolerance.

— Anthony McCarten

If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders.

— George W. Bush