My job is supposed to be about making whatever I'm talking about funny. — Tim Dillon Copy Share Image
“You are a sad, sad little man and you have my pity. — Buzz Lightyear ” — Cathy East Dubowski Copy Share Image
“Odd as this might sound, I suppose I'm glad you're here, Jacob.' 'You mean, 'as much as I'd love to kill you,… — Stephenie Meyer Copy Share Image
“I have a question. Is it okay to drink while you're pregnant...if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?” — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I was always good at being observationally funny - like, contributing something funny to the conversation. — Jon Hamm Copy Share Image
My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I really believe that comedy is an incredible tool, and you can use it in many ways. — Raphael Bob-Waksberg Copy Share Image
“I guess I forgot we were going out tonight." "We always go out on Fridays." "It's Thursday, Alvis." "You are so tied… — Jess Walter Copy Share Image
“It is a foible of our human nature that when we have an extremely unpleasant experience, it gives us a peculiar satisfaction… — Karel Čapek Copy Share Image
I think if there hadn't been the one passage of the book that mostly abandons the humor, and focuses very intently on… — Joshua Ferris Copy Share Image
I have been a big fan of the 'Fast and the Furious' franchise. The films are fast-paced, fun and keep the audience… — Tony Jaa Copy Share Image
I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as… — Fred Willard Copy Share Image
I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful… — Aleatha Romig Copy Share Image
“I judged you unfairly when I met you.” “But you still wanted to kiss me?” He shrugged, a smirk turning up the… — Katrina Abbott Copy Share Image
“The ones who’re so upset about everybody not being the same, about competition, about standards of quality, about art objects having ’auras’… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
I want to keep all the comedy to interviews and outside-the-ring work. — William Regal Copy Share Image
“Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes” — Benny Bellamacina Copy Share Image
