“Your level of neuroses will only find love in a made-for-TV movie.” — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
“Don’t you have hobbies?” “Sure. Staring at the blank walls.” — Benjamin Alire Sáenz Copy Share Image
I love playing people who don't have a sense of humor for instance, there's nothing funnier to me than a person with… — Rita Moreno Copy Share Image
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it. — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
“Diplomacy is the delicate weapon of the civilized warrior."- Hun, A. T.” — Robert Lynn Asprin Copy Share Image
I got some tartar-control toothpaste a while back. I've still got tartar, but it's under control. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Jenny can still suck a golf ball through a garden hose and she guns my cock like a champ since she misplaced… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“In a world of full of manipulation, half-truths and lies, the conspiracy theory is often a safer bet than the official story.” — Gary Hopkins Copy Share Image
“Grace gave her a gentle smile. "You know what the answer is, don't you? Chocolate. It's always the answer, no matter the… — Suzanne Wright Copy Share Image
“Myrna was not astigmatic; the lenses were clear glass; she wore the glasses to prove her dedication and intensity of purpose.” — John Kennedy Toole Copy Share Image
I love to play strippers and to imitate them. I love using that idea for comedy, but the idea of actually going… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Yeah, I love living in New York, man, and people who live in New York, we wear that fact like a badge… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
“Trin Tragula—for that was his name—was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.”… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Bruce Wayne's parents get killed and he goes to Tibet or whatever, and Superman is an alien, and Spiderman had that radioactive… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
To be honest, I never, ever thought I'd ever do comedy. I was so frequently cast early on as a high-born young… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
“If you're anorexic, you're doing it wrong." I swat him with a dish towel. "No, no, I mean anorexics look in the… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
“ Pamela Anderson : 'He called and called, leaving about twenty messages, just drunk dialing. One of them was him singing his… — Tommy Lee Copy Share Image
Never in a million years did I get into comedy to make anyone upset. — Sarah Sherman Copy Share Image
“I give off good vibes, kids, dogs, and middle-aged divorcées like me” — Tiffanie DeBartolo Copy Share Image
