Witty inspirations are the proverbs of the educated. — Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel Copy Share Image
In Bollywood, I think Boman Irani and Vinay Pathak are unbelievably good at comedy. — Vir Das Copy Share Image
James Gandolfini's heart attack at age 51 has inspired me to get in better shape after I finish rewatching all six seasons… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Calories: the tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes that tiny bit tighter every night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“Nevertheless, he had, on a certain star-lit evening, said wonderingly and quite reverently: "Deh moon looks like hell, don't it?” — Stephen Crane Copy Share Image
Its funny when you both look at each other and then suddenly, you dont know why both of you are smiling — Teejay David Copy Share Image
“I think that God's got a sick sense of humour, and when I die I expect to find him laughing.” — Depeche Mode Copy Share Image
Beer:$10, Weed:$20, Condoms:$2.75. Finding out she swallows and has no gag reflex... PRICELESS! Fuck mastercard it pays to discover! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“(…) met the owner of this cozy book-and-candle Apt. G, a tall, leggy, striking girl named Bea or maybe just the letter… — Jess Walter Copy Share Image
“While “Yes madam,” or “At your service, sir,” might boost your ego, obsequiousness can also distract you from your project’s needs—and remember,… — Dmytro Zaporozhtsev Copy Share Image
“Allison's eyes dart between me and the knives. Yeah, lady, a couple of hours in jail and I've moved from destruction of… — Katie McGarry Copy Share Image
“Mrs. Musgrove was of a comfortable substantial size, infinitely more fitted by nature to express good cheer and good humor, than tenderness… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
“Under the section heading “Experiments with Human Subjects” – a heading that, were I a doctor previously employed by Nazi Germany, I… — Mary Roach Copy Share Image
“...You have a problem, de Winter?" The words left her mouth before her brain filtered them. "Yes, it’s blond, green-eyed, and thinks… — Alex Lidell Copy Share Image
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I used to look at Jinks and marvel at her smooth complexion, but over the years I have come to realise that… — Sandi Toksvig Copy Share Image
If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
