Because of acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Words are funny things - They are free until you use them.” — Darlenne Susan Girard Copy Share Image
“Please don't tell me to relax it's only my tension that's holding me together.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
I have an inability to enjoy things, but that's why we're in comedy. If we were happy, we wouldn't be funny, I… — Paul Feig Copy Share Image
There is nothing far-fetched about disappointment as a subject for comedy. It's something we are all too familiar with. — Martin Freeman Copy Share Image
I always felt the audience sorta tolerated the serious musical parts while I was doing my comedy. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I think, in a comedy, it's easy to play people as very two-dimensional. But what is enjoyable to watch is seeing a… — Sophie Rundle Copy Share Image
“The perfect body protects its owner from disease, gives birth to amazing new people and stops your bones from falling out. The… — Heather Hill Copy Share Image
“fifty-story skyscrapers stood side by side with older ten-story buildings like fathers and sons at the urinal together.” — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“Fafhrd stopped, again wiped right hand on robe, and held it out. "Name's Fafhrd. Ef ay ef aitch ar dee." Again the… — Fritz Leiber Copy Share Image
“Something had to be done, for if there was ever a man who deserved killing - this was he. Georgiana surveyed the… — Sarah MacLean Copy Share Image
“I’ve always wanted to go out with a bang, that’s why I carry two bricks around with me wherever I go, so… — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
In ten minutes, I'm thinking, 'OK, you know what? I love these guys. They're really smart, they're really good, they've got a… — Eugene Levy Copy Share Image
“There’s no such thing as an uninteresting life, such a thing is an impossibility. Beneath the dullest exterior, there is a drama,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Should you happen to be possessed of a certain verbal acuity coupled with a relentless, hair-trigger humor and surface cheer spackling over… — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
“I hate the notion of a secret recipe. Recipes are by nature derivative and meant to be shared - that is how… — Molly Wizenberg Copy Share Image
“Joshua walked to the back of the tent.Caroline and Savannah were there but had their backs to him. They were bent over,an… — Gerald Lund Copy Share Image
About 14 percent of our nation's civilian workforce is foreign-born. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy. — Todd Barry Copy Share Image
