Humor Quotes · Page 130

If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

— Anonymous

“I would like to shove this stick up your whoo-hoo! ”

— Nii

Comedy is a tool to be used so that people can relate to each other.

— Eddie Griffin

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it.

— Jay Leno

I don't even think about the comedy community at all.

— Brian Quinn

“But in such cases as these a good memory is unpardonable.”

— Jane Austen

If there's something funny to be said, I will say it.

— Kevin Owens

“Be kind to everyone, everyone is going through something”

— Mary Elizabeth Owens

I want everything I do to have humor in it, because it seems to me that all of life has that.

— Lawrence Kasdan

“I can't stop thinking about how much better she'd be for him than I am. But I also kind of want to…

— Cynthia Hand

Comedy works in fashion cycles, in a way. And sometimes, studios will imitate those cycles a little too much.

— Scot Armstrong

“I made a tactical error tonight with Wyatt." She paused "Horizontally." Sara laughed. "Again?”

— Jill Shalvis

The tragedy of growing old is not that one is old but that one is young.

— Oscar Wilde

“Clive remained behind Simon’s knees. Simon’s Knees . . . What a great name for a band.”

— Alice Clayton

I don't do comedy. I think if a situation is funny you just play it for real and if it's funny, it's…

— Morgan Freeman

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.

— Sarah Silverman

As years go, you may loose your Hair, Teeth & Eyesight. But not your Talent, Brightness & Intelligence.Because, YOU can never loose…

— Jhoni13

“Really, I want you to finish this book feeling like we could become friends, if the timing was right. That's it. Oh,…

— Alida Nugent

People want me to be funny all the time. They think I'm being funny no matter what I say or do and…

— Christopher Guest

I think a sense of humor is the emotional equivalent of a sense of realism. One should not take everything seriously, and…

— Michael Maccoby

Not everyone can be as successful a performer as myself, who gave 10 great performances the first time I ever did comedy,…

— Scott Aukerman

A rule of thumb with humor; if you worry that you might be going too far, you have already not gone far…

— Christopher Hitchens

“I tended to be skeptical of anything that couldn't be measured, written down, and independently verified across a series of double-blind tests.…

— Max Barry

“I have read of a gentleman who owned a so fine house in London, and when he went for months of summer…

— Bram Stoker

“Life's too short, drive it like ya stole it!”

— Debra L. Hartmann

“But giving drugs to a cat is no joke, Kemp!”

— H.G. Wells

Math problems: Jane bought 72 sofas...WHO THE HELL WOULD BUY 72 SOFAS?!

— Anonymous

“I'm not worthy of you or your Omega awesomeness.”

— James Ponti

The funniest things are the forbidden.

— Mark Twain

It's a fine line between hack and good comedy.

— Jimmy O. Yang

“Ma le suore, ce li hanno i capelli?”

— Anonymous

Paul Rudd has a very specific brand of humor.

— Michael Pena

I love doing comedy - I get a laugh out of it, it's not so serious.

— Carmen Electra

I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor.

— Alton Brown

In my comedy when there's a victim, it's me.

— John Bishop

You'll laugh at the comedy of errors that is my life.

— Bret Michaels

I like dark humor. My favorite movie of all time is 'Harold and Maude.'

— Leslie Mann

I love to sleep. My astrological sign is the sloth.

— Julie Schumacher

“I sucked a lot of breasts to get where I am today.”

— Banksy

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't push him in.

— Rock Cowles