Humor Quotes · Page 131

Anyone ever lost in the wild knows that nature wants you dead.

— David Mamet

I'm a huge comedy nerd. I have been forever.

— Geraldine Viswanathan

“Behind every successful man, is a Woman breathing through her mouth”

— Josh Stern

I like witty people, people who can be witty on the spot.

— Rob Brydon

“When you get crapped on, grow a garden.”

— Tanja Kobasic

Since there have been men and women, there have been funny women.

— Andy Samberg

“A nation with minimum laws will have maximum laughter.”

— Amit Kalantri

I've always wanted to work in comedy.

— Amber Stevens

“Of course, you know how it is when a stray cat follows you home; once they adopt you, there's just no getting…

— Cheryl Brooks

And if you can offer an explanation as to why it doesn't work then you've got to the whole root of comedy.

— Denis Norden

“You absolutely don't know what's going to happen next - that's surrender.”

— Art Hochberg

“Fuck you!” “Right here?” He crossed his arms. “That definitely wouldn’t help your getting over me.”

— Stacey Marie Brown

“You can just enjoy your little perversions alone. God gave men a hand and five fingers for a reason, you know.”

— Lora Leigh

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the…

— Henny Youngman

I really wanted to do comedy full time but I was from Ohio and I didn't know how you got into comedy.

— Megan Stalter

During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one.

— Jerry Stiller

“Walking was a habit he'd been unwilling to give up. He couldn't see the point in shutting himself up in a vehivle…

— Eileen Wilks

“You aren't human. Your mother is a...sex demon." She tripped over that a little, because seriously, that was one of those things…

— Larissa Ione

The best version of comedy is when you can get to an issue where, at some point, you're not firmly on one…

— W. Kamau Bell

“I was reminded of the time I got a free upgrade to first class, where I sat right next to Sean Connery.…

— Lionel Shriver

“Will, my darling, my angel, the light of my life - I'm actually relieved you're gay. You really weren't all that excited…

— Amy Lane

It's interesting because with a lot of people who I've met in comedy, it seems not to matter what your background is.…

— Ellie Kemper

Most of the comedy characters I played have been extensions of my own personality and very similar to Mike Channel. It's a…

— Angus Deayton

I grew up watching 'Big Train,' these collectives of comedians who knew each other, and as a comedy fan you knew who…

— Natasia Demetriou

Humor is consistent with pathos, whilst wit is not.

— Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

— Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

“All I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.”

— Fred Allen

“The problem was, the dodos wouldn't stop breeding”

— Stephen Dunkley

Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.

— Evan Esar

There's not one Yiddish word that is not perfectly funny.

— Randy Rainbow

“Humor's the hardest thing to translate.”

— bharati mukherjee

“Billy Pilgrim has become unstuck in time.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

“Happiness is being contented with what you got-- so get enough.”

— Dik Browne

“He was sad because his new friend was so bloodthirsty.”

— E.B. White

“Tell me every detail. All but the dull parts, I mean.”

— Amy McAuley

If you don't grow up by age 35, you don't have to.

— James Gurney

I've requested Anand Raghav to write a full length comedy for me.

— Delhi Ganesh

“but then again, they were like baby Einsteins on crack.”

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

“I'd die for your sins, but I'd probably enjoy them first”

— Josh Stern

Home is important. Its important to have a home.

— George W. Bush