Wait did that girl just say sorry to a guy … It must mean its the the end of the world !!!!… — Michael Country Copy Share Image
“The answer to enemies who heal annoyingly fast is always, always decapitation. That is why swords will never go out of style.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
A lot of sexism is just very silly... and the best response is laughter and ridicule. — Mary Beard Copy Share Image
We need to have a little humor in our lives. .If the time ever comes when we can't smile at ourselves, it… — Gordon B. Hinckley Copy Share Image
The cure for aids could be written somewhere in the Terms and Conditions, and we would never know. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Screw it -- the house needed cleansing with cock's blood and chanting.” — Tere Michaels Copy Share Image
“I’m not above using unsavory beings to kick the Gods’ asses, but the Phantoms are too unpredictable for my taste,” I said.” — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
“Some disabled people spend a significant amount of their energy on trying to come across as abled or as not that disabled.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“The truth is I feel bad about calling you a whore. I don't know anything about your personal life; my judgment was… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
“Although my mother didn't know anything about science, she had a great influence on me as well. In particular, she had a… — Richard Feynman Copy Share Image
Whoop-de-do," said Ram. "What?" "I'm celebrating." "Was that irony or loss of mental function?" asked the expendable. "Was that a rhetorical questions,… — Orson Scott Card Copy Share Image
If you're watching a parade, don't follow it. It never changes. If the parade is boring, run in the opposite direction. You… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“If I could tell you only one thing about my life it would be this: when I was seven years old the… — Brady Udall Copy Share Image
“Once you're living under the sun, on this earth, you can never escape hurt; because being hurt is the closest, in rhyme,… — Mr One ZED Copy Share Image
My comedy on Twitter is very personal and a lot of it is messy and emotional, but I also want people to… — Rachel Sennott Copy Share Image
I hesitate to say I was the class clown, but that was kind of how I interacted with other kids in school,… — Simon Pegg Copy Share Image
“If art can never offer levity, then I'll have none of it!” — Annette (Schrab) Clark Copy Share Image
