At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me ! — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for… — Horace Walpole Copy Share Image
“From what he could see she had the legs of a much younger woman. Certainly not what he would have expected in… — Barbara Kingsolver Copy Share Image
“The two had been together since they were little girls, and so loved and hated each other like sisters.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“For Liza, a greeting is an opportunity to make new friends. For me, it's yet more people I'll have to avoid.” — Ariel Leve Copy Share Image
Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be, to protect yourself. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Payback's a bitch, but thankfully those tissues are only full of snot and tears instead of dead little sperms.” — Toni Aleo Copy Share Image
She was everything I wanted. She was beautiful and charming, with a quick sense of humor, and she supported me in everything… — Nicholas Sparks Copy Share Image
“This and countless later experiences working in and around the world of "shrinks" and the mentally ill has led me to the… — Oliver James Copy Share Image
Babies are equipped at birth with a number of instinctive reflexes and behavior patterns that cause them to spend their first several… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The name of my first comedy album was 'Raised by Cable.' Coming up and watching all of these weird movies on different… — Baron Vaughn Copy Share Image
“I’m not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it’s Shakespeare—or, if not, it’s some equally brainy lad—who says that… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
“They're really into it, laughing and teasing each other, and I am looking at Pam and thinking once again how she is… — James Howe Copy Share Image
“Washington's all abstraction. It's about access to power and nothing else. I mean, I'm sure it's fun if you're living next door… — Jonathan Franzen Copy Share Image
Royal Young has accomplished a rare feat in his fresh and riveting debut: he manages to recount his fascinating youth and unconventional… — Kristen Johnston Copy Share Image
I consider myself a bit of a comedian. I write a lot of humorous songs. — Brad Paisley Copy Share Image
