“The Devil himself had probably re-designed Hell in the light of the information he had gained from observing airport layouts.” — Anthony Price Copy Share Image
As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
“Check her out. She‟s fuckin‟ hot.” “Wedding band,” I say. “She sings in one?" “No, jackass. She's wearing one.” — Caprice Crane Copy Share Image
“I mean, I can understand not being as pricey as Percy or Jason, maybe... but am I worth, like, two Franks, or… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
I was really more interested in dramatic work, but I thought, 'Well, I guess I could do comedy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love comedy because I can laugh at myself. I don't take myself too seriously. — David Alan Basche Copy Share Image
“Yes, I once was the toast of two continents! (...Greenland & Australia).” — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
I didn't think that anything is beyond humor - not profane humor, but a good, honest approach to humor. — Mort Sahl Copy Share Image
If a drink was ice cold, it would be impossible to drink. Because it would be solid. Here's a drink, Mitch -… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
M*A*S*H offered real characters and everybody identified with them because they had such soul. The humor was intelligent and it always assumed… — Loretta Swit Copy Share Image
“I just”—Sean looks away, shakes his head—“I don’t know what I’m doing now. It’s like a day-to-day thing. Sometimes I wake up… — Patrick Anderson Jr Copy Share Image
“Shame, child, is for those who fail to live up to the ideal of what they believe they should be." She waved… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“She's a lot more than nice," Gran said with a leer, "after our last date, I came home with my face looking… — Nick Pageant Copy Share Image
I think the thrust of any child is to try to fit in and be part of it. And I can't tell… — Howie Mandel Copy Share Image
“Remember how it felt yesterday? What you saw me do?” I snorted and grinned. “Man, do I ever. I remembered twice last… — Missy Welsh Copy Share Image
“A writer flirts with schizophrenia, nurtures synesthesia, and embraces obsessive-compulsive disorder. Your art feeds on you, your soul, and, yes, to a… — David Mitchell Copy Share Image
“Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
