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Humor Quote by Tom Holt

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““Thanks anyway,' Vanderdecker repeated, and wandered off to have a stare at the sea. It was his equivalent to beating his head repeatedly against a wall.””

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More by Tom Holt

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

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I don't read the Sunday papers; or the dailies, either

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Lawyers are predators in grey worsted

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“A lifetime in the business had taught her that, apart from the few good people that work along-side you,nobody is to be trusted,ever,because sooner…

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“The conscientious arsonist doesn't just set the building on fire; first he fills the fire extinguishers with petrol.”

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“Just when you’ve squared up to the solemn realisation that life is a bitch, it turns round and does something nice, just to confuse…

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Among the gods, there is a dispute as to which one of them originally thought of Christianity; or, as they call it, the Great…

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There’s nothing bad about reincarnation per se, it’s basically a very good system, cost-effective and ecologically friendly.

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After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe until something…

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Genies rarely have nightmares, for the same reason that elephants don't usually worry about being trampled underfoot. With the possible exception of bottles, there's…

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American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot

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“Georgie paused on the threshold for a moment as if hesitant to enter the habitation of such a perjurer lest it should be struck…

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Explore all 48 Tom Holt quotes

More Humor quotes

'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy.

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When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions…

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Joking about violence is not funny.

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In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants.

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“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at Bane questioningly.…

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“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”

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“Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which…

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In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but…

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“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once,…

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If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

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“I only have two words to say More or Less”

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“ “Do Southerners laugh at different things than Northerners do? Yes, I say--Northerners.” Roy Blount, Jr., Roy Blount’s Book of Southern Humor”

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