Tom Holt

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to…

— Tom Holt

I don't read the Sunday papers; or the dailies, either

— Tom Holt

Lawyers are predators in grey worsted

— Tom Holt

“A lifetime in the business had taught her that, apart from the few good people that work along-side you,nobody is to be…

— Tom Holt

“The conscientious arsonist doesn't just set the building on fire; first he fills the fire extinguishers with petrol.”

— Tom Holt

“Just when you’ve squared up to the solemn realisation that life is a bitch, it turns round and does something nice, just…

— Tom Holt

Among the gods, there is a dispute as to which one of them originally thought of Christianity; or, as they call it,…

— Tom Holt

There’s nothing bad about reincarnation per se, it’s basically a very good system, cost-effective and ecologically friendly.

— Tom Holt

After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe…

— Tom Holt

Genies rarely have nightmares, for the same reason that elephants don't usually worry about being trampled underfoot. With the possible exception of…

— Tom Holt

American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot

— Tom Holt

“Georgie paused on the threshold for a moment as if hesitant to enter the habitation of such a perjurer lest it should…

— Tom Holt

“{She] laughed so that the street seemed full of little silver bells,”

— Tom Holt

“When you're about to die, your whole life's supposed to flash before your eyes. When you fall in true love, on the…

— Tom Holt

In spite of really intense competition for the job, I'm still my own worst enemy.

— Tom Holt

Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.

— Tom Holt

I try and do 2,500 words a day, every day of the year

— Tom Holt

“she wasn’t an elf, they’re pointed ears and lace wings and ballet costume. Countess Judy was the Queen of the Fey. Which…

— Tom Holt

“It was one of those moments when the moral high ground opens and swallows you up.”

— Tom Holt

It was irritating to have one's physical shortcomings pointed out quite so plainly twice in one evening, once by a beautiful girl…

— Tom Holt

Mostly I sit at home in the evenings watching the box and hoping that one day I'll evolve into plankton.

— Tom Holt

New technology is useful, but it's inefficient and ugly; it knows it'll be obsolete by lunchtime tomorrow, so it has no incentive…

— Tom Holt

“You wouldn't think you could get bored falling to your death... But when it's a really, really long drop, there's a definite…

— Tom Holt

There is that within a man that drives him ever onwards, just as the power of the seasons drives the roots of…

— Tom Holt

“The worst punishment there is for wanting the wrong thing is getting it.”

— Tom Holt