Quote by Jarod Kintz

“He sneers so regularly that I suspect he shaves his mustache only to spare his nose the whisker burn.”

— Meredith Duran

“My new mustache is barely big enough to cover my pubic region.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Right now I have a milk mustache. I grew it on a cattle ranch, and then glued it to my face.”

— Jarod Kintz

“When I couldn’t grow a full beard I took it as a sign from God to grow a mustache instead.”

— Jarod Kintz

“No matter how hard I try, I can’t grow facial hair on my chest.”

— Jarod Kintz

“That being said, I will throw on the occasional false mustache.”

— It Books

“I have half a mustache. It was a gift from my father, who bought one with a Buy One Mustache, Get One Half Off…

— Jarod Kintz

“The funny thing about having any kind of moustache or beard is it grows on you—in two ways. I mean, it grows on you.…

— John W. Boyer

“I don’t just have one mustache, I have two. You can hardly notice them, though, because I wear them in place of my eyebrows,…

— Jarod Kintz

“I just bought an extra large mustache, to wear as a toupee.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My mother always told me not to pick my nose, so I’m going let the plastic surgeon decide what my new nose will look…

— Jarod Kintz

“Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.”

— Jarod Kintz