Quote by Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to satisfy your hunger—and satisfy my curiosity.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to crush the Fruit of Desire and make the Juice of Destiny. Drink it before I lose my erection.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used as a spoon—to eat, not cuddle. OK fine, you can use it to cuddle too.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to make life easier. Start carrying one around with you everywhere you go, and you’ll see what I mean.…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to aid the lonely. Carry it with you, converse with it, and if you drink enough, you can even…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used like ice cream. But hold up, hold up. Let me put a bowl under it before you start licking,…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to help you maintain a balanced diet, by keeping your head perfectly still with the brick steady on your…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to keep your sandwich pressed down, so your meat doesn't spill out.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to smash my bottled up rage, and a blanket could be laid down beforehand to catch the shards. 
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used as food for thought. Every politician should chew on that.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used like a duck could be used like a cat. My duck soup is meowing to be manhandled by a…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used in religious ceremonies. After all, it is slightly better than using live human sacrifices.”

— Jarod Kintz