Sarcastic Quotes

891 Sarcastic quotes by 449 unique authors

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome. — Oscar Levant
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. — Abraham Lincoln
The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read. — Abraham Lincoln
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. — Vince Lombardi
A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility. — Lawrence G. Lovasik
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. — Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. — Groucho Marx
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. — Groucho Marx
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! — Groucho Marx
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. — Groucho Marx
History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce. — Karl Marx
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. — W. Somerset Maugham
Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy. — Bryant H. McGill
Don't be humble... you're not that great. — Golda Meir
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. — H. L. Mencken
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect. — Alanis Morissette
In my opinion, I think sarcasm and humor in a song, without turning it into a novelty song, is really charming. — Alanis Morissette
I do sarcasm really poorly. — Brittany Murphy
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. — P.J. O'Rourke
After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd… — P.J. O'Rourke
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you're sorry. — Charles Osgood
The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife. — David Ogilvy
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true. — J. Robert Oppenheimer
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way… — Emo Philips
I once told a journalist that girls call me 'Kitten,' but I couldn't have been more sarcastic, and no matter how many times I've said… — Joaquin Phoenix

Who Wrote These Sarcastic Quotes

449 authors contributed a total of 891 Sarcastic Quotes, led by these top contributors: