« All Sarcastic Quotes · Mark Twain's Page
Sarcastic Quotes by Mark Twain
- He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
- 'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the world it…
- In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
- He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.
- In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather…
- Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
- Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
- His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
- You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll…
- I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
- What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.
- I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
- Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
- Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
- Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
- Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- The lack of money is the root of all evil.
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
More Sarcastic Quotes
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. — Isaac Asimov
- You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. — Rowan Atkinson
- The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely… — Rowan Atkinson
- People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure. — Russell Baker
- Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. — John Barrymore
- You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony. — John Barrymore
- What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of… — Roland Barthes