« All Sarcastic Quotes · Ambrose Bierce's Page
Sarcastic Quotes by Ambrose Bierce
- Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.
- Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
- Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
- Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
- Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
- Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
- Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
- Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
- PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of…
- PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for…
- While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.
- CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
- EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our…
- EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
- DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.
- diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
More Sarcastic Quotes
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. — Isaac Asimov
- You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. — Rowan Atkinson
- The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely… — Rowan Atkinson
- People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure. — Russell Baker
- Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. — John Barrymore
- You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony. — John Barrymore
- What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of… — Roland Barthes
- There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. — Jean Baudrillard
- Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant. — George Ade
- Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry. — George Ade
- I'm very used to playing the tomboy or the sarcastic cynic. That's my go-to. Playing the vulnerable of a real girl that's… — Kristen Bell