Sarcastic Quotes

891 Sarcastic quotes by 449 unique authors

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip… — Janeane Garofalo
'Therefore' is a word the poet must not know. — Andre Gide
We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If a man writes a book, let him set down only what he knows. I have guesses enough of my own. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
When ideas fail, words come in very handy. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
For your information, I would like to ask a question. — Samuel Goldwyn
Oh, my, yes. I was raised in this Southern culture where if a guy was sarcastic, that just meant he didn't know how to show… — Ginnifer Goodwin
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. — Quentin Crisp
However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police. — Quentin Crisp
America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to… — E E Cummings
Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it. — Salvador Dali
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. — Rodney Dangerfield
I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. — Clarence Darrow
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. — Clarence Darrow
Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to? — Clarence Darrow
Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile. — Mahmoud Darwish
The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing… — Richard Dawkins
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think… — Ellen DeGeneres
Little things affect little minds. — Benjamin Disraeli
He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea, and that was wrong. — Benjamin Disraeli
Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies. — John Donne
Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded. — Fyodor Dostoevsky
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. — Clint Eastwood
This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country. — Clint Eastwood
If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. — Clint Eastwood

Who Wrote These Sarcastic Quotes

449 authors contributed a total of 891 Sarcastic Quotes, led by these top contributors: