Sarcastic Quotes

891 Sarcastic quotes by 449 unique authors

He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him. — Eddie Cantor
He's completely unspoiled by failure. — Noel Coward
He's liked, but he's not well liked. — Arthur Miller
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home. — Groucho Marx
I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. — Mark Twain
I thought men like that shot themselves. — George V
Pushing forty? She's hanging on for dear life. — Ivy Compton-Burnett
She's good, being gone. — William Shakespeare
Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week. — William Dean Howells
The best part of you ran down your mother's legs. — Jackie Gleason
The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. — Joseph Stilwell
They don't hardly make 'em like him any more - but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway. — Hunter S. Thompson
We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault. — Ashleigh Brilliant
What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank. — Liberace
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings? — Milton Berle
Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out? — Groucho Marx
A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently; there is a whispering in distant chambers, an unearthly hand presses the snib… — James M. Barrie
And now I'm using sarcasm, to confess the whole thing so later I could say I already told you. — Homer
I find myself to be quite sarcastic, and I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't get that. — Andrej Pejic
My brothers are both 6 ft. 5 in., and if you have younger brothers who are bigger than you then you have to learn the… — Nick Moran
My natural-born sarcasm, when it's unimpeded, can be a bit overbearing at times and I'm the first to admit that. — Tom Bergeron
My son Cooper has just turned ten and the sarcasm fairy has already started to take up residence inside his body. Not only am I… — Melissa Rivers
My whole family is very sarcastic and constantly making jokes. — Emily Deschanel
On whether Blurred Lines' video is sexist: I don't. I really appreciate the people who watch out for that stuff, and I'm sensitive to those… — Emily Ratajkowski
...Never tell a ticket agent, "As a matter of fact, I DID accept items from persons unknown to me! A nice man in a chadar… — Seanbaby

Who Wrote These Sarcastic Quotes

449 authors contributed a total of 891 Sarcastic Quotes, led by these top contributors: