Sarcastic Quotes
- It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey. — Jeff Foxworthy
- Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache. — Alan Bennett
- She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache. — Noel Coward
- She not only kept her lovely figure, she's added so much to it. — Bob Fosse
- She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin. — Heinrich Heine
- She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig. — Margot Asquith
- She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered. — James M. Barrie
- She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork. — Jonathan Swift
- When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes. — Josh Billings
- While you remain at home your hair is at the hairdresser's; you take out your teeth at night and sleep tucked away in a hundred… — Martial
- Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. — P.G. Wodehouse
- You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. — Irvin S. Cobb
- A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to see it done… — James Boswell
- The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. — Helen Rowland
- A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead. — Alexander Pope
- A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post. — Tom Waits
- He has the attention span of a lightning bolt. — Robert Redford
- He is brilliant - to the top of his boots. — David Lloyd George
- He is so stupid you can't trust him with an idea. — John Steinbeck
- He knows so little and knows it so fluently. — Ellen Glasgow
- He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold. — John Ruskin
- His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere. — Mark Twain
- His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it. — F. H. Bradley
- I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located? — Ashleigh Brilliant
- I would not want to put him in charge of snake control in Ireland. — Eugene McCarthy