Sarcastic Quotes

891 Sarcastic quotes by 449 unique authors

Put every great teacher in a room, and they'd agree about everything, but put their disciples in there and they'd argue about everything. — Bruce Lee
Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask… — Oscar Wilde
Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine. — Rowan Atkinson
The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years. — Oscar Wilde
I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there's a gas bill tied to it. — Rowan Atkinson
Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther. — Rowan Atkinson
Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately… — Barack Obama
To live as one likes is plebian the noble man aspires to order and law. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary. — Oscar Wilde
Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them? — Oscar Wilde
Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf. — Oscar Wilde
However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive. — Oscar Wilde
Just because the kid's cute, doesn't mean you're not the father. — Will Smith
I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures. — Oscar Wilde
Deliberate with caution, but act with decision and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness. — Charles Caleb Colton
When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well. — John Cleese
years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced. — John Cleese
It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you. — Barack Obama
I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot. — Oscar Wilde
Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit. — Will Smith
I've been fortunate - I haven't had too many auditions. I slept with the right people. — Pamela Anderson
If I didn't kick his ass every day? he wouldn't be worth anything. — Hillary Clinton
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. — Quentin Crisp
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving around on a bus and having a campfire kind of adding to the environment problem? — Will Smith
Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky. — John Cleese

Who Wrote These Sarcastic Quotes

449 authors contributed a total of 891 Sarcastic Quotes, led by these top contributors: