Sarcastic Quotes

891 Sarcastic quotes by 449 unique authors

Folks always look good in their coffins. — Elvis Presley
A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed. — John Cleese
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary. — Victor Borge
What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start.. — Danny DeVito
When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance. — Victor Borge
Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. — Tom Lehrer
The little dictator who went to Moscow in his green fatigues to receive a bear hug did not forsake the doctrine of Lenin when he… — Ronald Reagan
If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already? — Cynthia Heimel
The English have a miraculous power of turning wine into water. — Oscar Wilde
He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist. — Anton Chekhov
Size does matter. There's a lot of ways to make people feel good, but personally I think it does enhance things. — Pamela Anderson
Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals. — Oscar Wilde
In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence, which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning. — A. E. Housman
It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it. — Barack Obama
He has inhibited discussion by designating admonition as the method of dealing with a heretic- and the first method, too, because he is not a… — Tertullian
Now then, you dogs, whom the apostle puts outside and who yelp at the God of truth, let us come to your various questions. — Tertullian
[The papists] ought to have sympathy with us weak, poor Christians, and not condemn us or make fun of us because we are learning so… — Martin Luther
[Albert] Schweitzer thus carved out his own path through the first half of this century, a lonely and learned giant amidst the hordes of noisy… — N. T. Wright
I am sarcastic and dry, but I also have a pretty huge zest for life. — Krysten Ritter
I can be very dry and sarcastic. — Hayden Panettiere
I have friends who are so sarcastic but I never view it as mean. — Kat Dennings
I'd to do more stuff with less sarcasm. — Sara Gilbert
I'm really good at being sarcastic with guys. That's the best way to hang out with them, because that's what guys . They don't want… — Jessica Alba
I'm really sarcastic. Not Morgan Webb sarcastic. She's dry, 100%. I'm different from her. — Olivia Munn
My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical. — Tim Heidecker

Who Wrote These Sarcastic Quotes

449 authors contributed a total of 891 Sarcastic Quotes, led by these top contributors: