Sarcastic Quotes

891 Sarcastic quotes by 449 unique authors

My father was a very unhappy person, very sarcastic, and my mother was very nervous and worried about what people thought. They weren't monsters, but… — Paula Danziger
Sarcasm is weird. Even not in acting, in life I feel 'sarcastic' is a word that people use to describe me sometimes so when I… — Aubrey Plaza
Sometimes Americans don't quite get my sense of humor. My good ol' British sarcasm seems to go over their heads. — Lee Westwood
The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font. — Zach Galifianakis
This music won't do. There's not enough sarcasm in it. — Samuel Goldwyn
We are suffering from too much sarcasm. — Marianne Moore
When I first started writing, I was living in England and I had that uniquely English sense of sarcasm, which has definitely seemed to have… — Jane Green
You had to learn at a certain age what sarcasm is, you know? — Penny Marshall
'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the world it… — Mark Twain
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that. — Mark Twain
PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of… — Ambrose Bierce
He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages. — Mark Twain
In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather… — Mark Twain
PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for… — Ambrose Bierce
While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his. — Ambrose Bierce
Go anywhere in England where there are natural wholesome, contented and really nice English people; and what do you find? That the stables are the… — George Bernard Shaw
CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns. — Ambrose Bierce
EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our… — Ambrose Bierce
EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state. — Ambrose Bierce
We fall in love when our imagination projects nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, the fantasy evaporates and with it, love dies. — Jose Ortega y Gasset
The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all but showed signs of formidable ugliness by birth - pickle-jar chin,… — P.J. O'Rourke
Curse the blasted, jelly-boned swines, the slimy, the belly-wriggling invertebrates, the miserable soddingrotters, the flaming sods, the sniveling, dribbling, dithering, palsied, pulse-less lot that make… — D. H. Lawrence
Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at… — Bill Bryson
America is one long expectoration. — Oscar Wilde
Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy. — Miles Kington

Who Wrote These Sarcastic Quotes

449 authors contributed a total of 891 Sarcastic Quotes, led by these top contributors: