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Sarcastic Quotes by David Letterman
- The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.
- Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
- Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
- Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.
- When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?
- Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they…
- Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
- Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things…
More Sarcastic Quotes
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. — Isaac Asimov
- You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. — Rowan Atkinson
- The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely… — Rowan Atkinson
- People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure. — Russell Baker
- Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. — John Barrymore
- You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony. — John Barrymore
- What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of… — Roland Barthes
- There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. — Jean Baudrillard
- Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant. — George Ade
- Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry. — George Ade
- I'm very used to playing the tomboy or the sarcastic cynic. That's my go-to. Playing the vulnerable of a real girl that's… — Kristen Bell