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Said Quotes by David Letterman
- I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So…
- John McCain said that Sarah Palin is still a force in the Republican Party. Then he got in his car and backed over his mailbox.
- Herman Cain was unaware that China is a nuclear power. And I said to myself, 'Hey, Herman, how about making an unwanted advance on a…
- I was talking to a friend about Santorum. He said, 'For all my years in the State Department, I know one thing. Terrorists, what they…
- Mitt Romney said he's not concerned about the very poor. What he means is people making less than a million.
- Mitt Romney said that he liked to fire people. Well, there's a pretty good message to send to Middle America. When Rick Perry heard that,…
- I mean you think about the guy, the Nigerian guy, who was going to blow up the plane. He was wearing a pair of Fruit…
- Sarah Palin had a big op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, and she said she's against death panels. And I thought, 'Really? She's the…
- Sarah Palin was delivering a speech and she said 'refudiate.' It's not a word – you have refute and repudiate, and she combined them. A…
- Barack Obama said he may negotiate with the Taliban. A lot of people are saying okay, but be careful. But I said this guy has…
- The post office is raising the price of stamps again. I heard that and said to myself, 'If only there was an inexpensive electronic way…
- It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
- President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the…
- Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's…
- Last week I did a thing on the Grammys with a Top 10 list. There was a Lindsay Lohan joke about her stealing a Grammy…
More Said Quotes
- Live never to be ashamed if anything you say or do is published around the world, even if what is said is… — Richard Bach
- That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: It said, 'Goodbye'. — Richard Armour
- That said, the question remains: how to strike the balance between free speech and mutual respect in this mixed-up world, both blessed… — Timothy Garton Ash
- If I were to say, 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said, 'God, why me?' about the… — Arthur Ashe
- The book that convinced me I wanted to be a writer was 'Crime and Punishment'. I put the thing down after reading… — Paul Auster
- My mother always said I must be part Mongolian because of my lotus-pale complexion and squid-ink black hair. — Diane Ackerman
- I came to the conclusion months ago, and I said it to members of Congress, that the only way people are going… — David Axelrod
- I have a master plan as an artist. I've always said I'm not going to be punching nobody's clock. I will work… — Erykah Badu
- Few expected very much of Franklin Roosevelt on Inauguration Day in 1933. Like Barack Obama seventy-six years later, he was succeeding a… — Russell Baker
- I was in college in Washington, D.C. I did three years full-time. I did all my requirements, and my senior year was… — Alec Baldwin
- American history is longer, larger, more various, more beautiful, and more terrible than anything anyone has ever said about it. — James A. Baldwin
- All of the muscles were gone, so that was a real tough time of rebuilding all of that. But you have a… — Christian Bale