Nikhil Saluja

You are merciful... when you forgive in others the faults you condemn in yourself.

— Nikhil Saluja

You haven't got her till she saves your name in her contacts with an emoji next to it.

— Nikhil Saluja

I really hate idiots. It's so hard to play mind games with them.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are growing... when you know what you are but not what you will become.

— Nikhil Saluja

Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who…

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't just be the woman that he thinks of while he's watching porn, be the woman he MAKES porn with.

— Nikhil Saluja

Apple: I look like a football. Lemon: I look like a rugby ball. Banana: Can we change the subject please?

— Nikhil Saluja

I fold the toilet paper In half and use it again because I like to live my life full of risks.

— Nikhil Saluja

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't hate you because hate is a feeling and I feel absolutely nothing for you.

— Nikhil Saluja

Try this: When someone you don't follow unfollows you, Follow them and when they follow back, Unfollow them.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you bleach your asshole and add ammonia... would you fart Mustard Gas? ' Asking for a Friend

— Nikhil Saluja

Writing. like. this. doesnt. make. your. point. any. stronger. It. makes. it. look. like. your. computer. has. asthma.

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman Law: My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

— Nikhil Saluja

I always make the wrong decisions so I have something to tweet about.

— Nikhil Saluja

I have a condition that prevents me on going on a diet.. I Get Hungry

— Nikhil Saluja

Freak people out in public restrooms by saying come in when they knock on the stall door.

— Nikhil Saluja

WOMAN, LIBERATED, a female who has sex before marriage and a job after.

— Nikhil Saluja

The only thing Facebook and Twitter have in common is that you're able to block annoying fuckin' users.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hot chicks with no ass are like BMW's with no wheels, fucking useless.

— Nikhil Saluja

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. -- On your lips, color to enhance your beauty. On his collar, color only a tramp would wear!

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't introduce a guy to another guy. No guy needs to know any more guys.

— Nikhil Saluja

My mood is always good. Except for the time I have to get out of bed.

— Nikhil Saluja

Here's some advice: Always keep them guessing. Shit on your Girlfriend's car, then help her try to find out who did it.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are loving... when your own pain does not blind you to the pain of others.

— Nikhil Saluja

Twitter: Where people bitch for everyone's attention and validation from strangers.

— Nikhil Saluja

Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.

— Nikhil Saluja

If Men Got Pregnant: Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags.

— Nikhil Saluja

For all my haters, I just want you to know that there's no medicine for insecurities so better commit suicide!

— Nikhil Saluja

I like the face a girl makes, when another girl she hates shows up on her Twitter timeline.

— Nikhil Saluja

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, You're going to have trouble with it.

— Nikhil Saluja

I love when porn search engines make you spell words correctly. On the plus side, I'll always know bukake has two ks…

— Nikhil Saluja

Just when I start to think I lack talent, I sneeze and fart at the same time.

— Nikhil Saluja

Just because you're mad at someone, doesn't means you stop loving them.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIED LIFE, is like the pleasure experienced when getting into a warm bath -- after a while it's not so hot

— Nikhil Saluja

In some countries being president is just an honorary position --like being a husband in Hollywood.

— Nikhil Saluja

Abortion It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish.

— Nikhil Saluja

My mother always said, if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all... And Then I signed-up for Facebook!

— Nikhil Saluja

My dentist told me I have a lot of cavities. If by cavities he means girls then yes, I have a lot…

— Nikhil Saluja

I wish my girlfriend sucked my dick the way she sucks the fun out of everything.

— Nikhil Saluja