I wish my wife would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. — Nikhil Saluja Blows Copy Share Image
My therapist thinks I'm arrogant. I'm sure he's just jealous because I'm funny & have so many followers on twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Arrogant Copy Share Image
Just because I send you to voicemail doesn't mean that I want you to leave me one, you fucking asshole! — Nikhil Saluja Text Copy Share Image
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest, I only intended to rough him up a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, want guys to start paying more attention to you? Then start flashing your tits. — Nikhil Saluja Tits Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A sensible sort of a man -- he never thinks of romance and marriage; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
THE AWKWARD MOMENT When you realize you're giving your pen a blowjob... — Nikhil Saluja Awkward moment Copy Share Image
If a girl takes the time to straighten her hair and you don't fall in love with her you're an asshole. — Nikhil Saluja Asshole Copy Share Image
News Report: Semen is actually good for teeth. I agree. The more my girlfriend sucks me off, the better chance she has… — Nikhil Saluja Semen Copy Share Image
Debt is a form of slavery not prohibited by the Thirteenth Amendment; but it is a form of voluntary servitude that is… — Nikhil Saluja Slavery Copy Share Image
Dear followers, I know that seeing my picture on your timeline makes your day so don't be selfish and make your followers'… — Nikhil Saluja Followers Copy Share Image
Arguing over breast size is futile... It's like choosing between different brands - Foster's, Godfather, Corona or Kingfisher! Men may state their… — Nikhil Saluja Breast Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically Converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
Women are like waste disposal units. If they're not going to swallow anything I put in them, they won't be in my… — Nikhil Saluja Disposal Copy Share Image
Funny sentence written on the T-shirt of a Beautiful Girl walking on side of the road:.., you are not looking at the… — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
I had a bully as a kid. He was dyslexic, so he used to stick Me Kick signs on my back. Then… — Nikhil Saluja Bad grammar Copy Share Image
Alex Rodriguez never gets clutch hits in October, yet his fans insist on comparing him to Babe Ruth. So A-Rod tries to… — Nikhil Saluja Babe ruth Copy Share Image
They say gay people have gaydar, which lets them figure out who else is gay. Waiters in expensive restaurants have something similar,… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
After miraculously surviving two heart surgeries, pneumonia and a mild stroke, at 82 my grandfather was no longer able to care for… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I was eating an orange the other day and a friend said, Did you know nothing rhymes with 'orange?' So, I threw… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's His Name? We live… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
He who knows not, and knows not he knows not, he is a fool, shun him. He who knows not, and knows… — Nikhil Saluja Wise Copy Share Image
