Politician Quotes by Jay Leno

9 Politician quotes by Jay Leno

Leno’s nine brief observations blend his comedic timing with a light‑hearted look at those in office.

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If politicians all told the truth, we'd be out of business.

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Neural scientists at M.I.T. say they can plant false memories in your brain. No, that is not new. Politicians have been doing…

Jay Leno

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John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, that's saying something, because Kerry's both…

Jay Leno

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Elections in L.A. are so different. Here you've got politicians with phony smiles making false promises to voters with fake boobs and…

Jay Leno

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We should make politicians dress like race car drivers -- when they get money, make them wear the company logos on their…

Jay Leno

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In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace.…

Jay Leno

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Howard Dean is a politician, a medical doctor and a Democrat. So he has three reasons to tell women to take off…

Jay Leno

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We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a…

Jay Leno

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I love all these politicians, they all say the same thing - 'We'll give California back to the people.' Yeah, great, now…

Jay Leno

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More by Jay Leno

If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.

Jay Leno

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Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends…

Jay Leno

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Michael Jackson has a new baby boy; no word yet who the father is.

Jay Leno

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There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't…

Jay Leno

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“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn…

Jay Leno

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Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.…

Jay Leno

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American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade…

Jay Leno

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I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet…

Jay Leno

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Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just…

Jay Leno

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You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.

Jay Leno

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The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet…

Jay Leno

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The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of…

Jay Leno

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Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have…

Jay Leno

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Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going…

Jay Leno

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Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out…

Jay Leno

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