Once we realized that there were these 25 invariable types - the class politician, the frigid popular girl, the kid who tags… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You'll note that politicians no longer spend money, they invest it. Don't worry about paying more to the [IRS]. You aren't being… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
God has no role to play in politics except to make sure politicians go where they belong. To hell. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Raining on parades requires no skill or effort on the part of a politician. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Bureaucrats want bigger bureaus. Special interests are interested in whatever's special to them. These two groups bring great pressure to bear upon… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politicians are always interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A politician who commends himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America is not doctrinaire. It's hard for an American politician to come up with an ideological position that is permanently unforgivable. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit. A politician is anyone who asks individuals to surrender part… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You can't get something for nothing. Everybody remembers this except politicians. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Political systems must love poverty-they produce so much of it. Poor people make easier targets for a demagogue. No Mao or even… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The political process consists entirely of politicians talking out of their butts. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
