There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The Baby Boomers: whiny, narcissistic, self-indulgent people with a simple philosophy: "Gimme that! It's mine!" — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood -… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people... I do... I like… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Cigarette companies market heavily to young people. They need young customers because their product kills the older ones. It is the only… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm never critical or judgmental about whether or not a movie is any good. The way I look at it, if several… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I use the word 'fat'. I use that word because that's what people are: they're fat. They're not bulky; they're not large,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? They're always people who tell us to live together in… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My history of moving away from drugs is not the kind you hear from most people. Certainly not from celebrities, especially those… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Of course, in Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. In New York, most people don't have cars, so… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The two big mistakes were the belief in a sky god - that there's a man in the sky with 10 things… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 'Cause… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Someone said, and rightfully, that "property is theft'." There's no way a man can stand and tell me that he owns an… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/f08/george-carlin-155_americans_we-americans-are-not-a-freedom-loving-pe_2631602.jpg)
