“Ellen's life was not easy, nor was it happy, but she did not expect life to be easy, and, if it was… — Margaret Mitchell Copy Share Image
In my mind, there is nothing so illiberal, and so ill-bred, as audible laughter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Growing up in a family of gamblers, daredevils and practical jokers, I've learned a lot about timing and its first cousin, dumb… — Toby Speed Copy Share Image
Both my parents recognized early on that I wanted to do something in comedy, and they were really supportive. They're the ones… — Chris Hardwick Copy Share Image
“The Proclaimers thunder through my head. Imagine it. Imagine killing someone to the tune of two Scottish nerds wearing glasses and flattop… — Markus Zusak Copy Share Image
If some beggar steals a bridle he'll be hung by a man who's stolen a horse. — Peire Cardenal Copy Share Image
I took a job in a comedy club - not doing stand-up comedy, because that's my idea of hell, but in the… — Phoebe Fox Copy Share Image
“Hey," Anaxantis protested. "Oh," he added, when the Muktar prince took his member in his mouth. "Oh... that's what you meant by… — Andrew Ashling Copy Share Image
“He grinned. "And you've got yourself a nickname. I'm thinking 'Shorty'" "I'm five eight without heels." "It's not a description. It's a… — Chloe Neill Copy Share Image
“¿Me estás preguntando si me sale pelo en sitios donde antes no tenía? ¿O si me está saliendo rabo?” — José Antonio Cotrina Copy Share Image
When the situation is serious, don't be funny; and when the situation is funny, don't be serious! — Mehmet Murat Ildan Copy Share Image
“Have you ever kissed anybody?" he asked and took a sip. I smirked. "There aren't a whole lot of opportunities in the… — Katie Kacvinsky Copy Share Image
“You know your marriage is in trouble when your wife would rather listen to a cackling drug lord than accept your apology.” — Red Tash Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... we tried to joke but neither could make any sense. We realized that puns… — Marshall Ramsay Copy Share Image
For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
That's how to make a stand-up comedian: You take a person who is uncomfortable and try to squirrel their way out of… — W. Kamau Bell Copy Share Image
“Can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming 'Your cats! Give us all… — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
If you look back, Mozart, Haydn and Beethoven were mixing music and humor all the time. — Richard Hyung-ki Joo Copy Share Image
“Holy effing crap, that sucks!" I turned to her. "Effing?" Sam shrugged. "What?" "We're censoring now?" "Kyle says I have a mouth… — Gemma Halliday Copy Share Image
“The only difference between me and a madman is that he has the certification” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Goddamn fatherfucking asshole politician moral paraplegic dipshit drag-queen bitch!” — Dan Simmons Copy Share Image
“Exiting the building, we shield our eyes with our hands and raise our voices. The wind has really picked up and is… — Giorge Leedy Copy Share Image
“I started to think of friends I could lean on for some help, but, as always happened when I attempted this kind… — Hugh Laurie Copy Share Image
I always hear people say that only God can judge them, but I guess its because they have never been to court. — Paballo Nhambiri Copy Share Image
“The only type of humor that is excused lower classness is satire, and satire is the chamber music of comedy - a… — A.A. Gill Copy Share Image
My favorite comedy is self-effacing, where the person doing the joke is the butt of it. That's always been the stuff I've… — Andy Samberg Copy Share Image
“Vicky always did have that kind of mind: since there was basically no activity going on inside her head, conversations went in… — Tana French Copy Share Image
“He leans forward and his mouth brushes briefly against mine, and I feel... nothing. I was hoping our first kiss would trigger… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
“When I was younger I used to think that band-aids did all the work. I mean after all, it binds your wound… — Onee'sha Ford Copy Share Image
You probably found 'How to Survive a Robot Uprising' in the humor section. Let's just hope that is where it belongs. — Daniel H. Wilson Copy Share Image
A lot of stand-up comedy guys, when they get a little famous, just give up their stand-up career, and it cancels out… — Johnny Knoxville Copy Share Image
I encourage employers to permit their workers time off during the lunch hour to attend the noontime services to pray for our… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
One of the great things about the Internet is that you can read what everybody has to say about everything. It is… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
Let's drink on the beach until we're no longer ashamed to show our bodies on the beach. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As an actor, you can really play the intensity and gravity and seriousness of the moment, and just rely on the circumstances… — Ed Helms Copy Share Image
