Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.? It is just a formality like two boxers shaking hands before the fight… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
We think there is a parallel between federal involvement in education and the decline in profit over recent years. — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me!… — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
“I stared at the phone in disbelief, then ripped a clean sheet of paper from my notebook. I scribbled ' Jerk '… — Becca Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We were in a canoe, and we were paddling across the desert. You said you were… — Dora J. Arod Copy Share Image
Bound as our lives are to the tyranny of time, it is through what we know of history that we are delivered… — A. L. Rowse Copy Share Image
The funny thing is, I've never really hurt myself in an action movie. I've done 'Wanted,' 'X-Men,' 'Welcome To The Punch,' even… — James McAvoy Copy Share Image
“Because he has finally realized that it is it and not him that is loved by the woman he loves, many a… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
Some nights I'm funny with the between-song commentary, some nights I'm not. I have no control over this. I pace the stage… — David Berman Copy Share Image
I think that as kids we all picture ourselves as the princess, the prince, and not really ever as the housekeeper or… — Betty Gabriel Copy Share Image
I love Fidel Castro...I respect Fidel Castro. You know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the… — Ozzie Guillen Copy Share Image
Ive been fortunate to come on places where the question isnt why did I do it? The question to me is always,… — Todd McFarlane Copy Share Image
When you see someone draining you, your being naturally cuts it off. Yet many times you can be manipulated not to see. — Frederick Lenz Copy Share Image
“But first I had to get through the ironing. It took a lot of patience. I had none. It took forever, and… — Jennifer Echols Copy Share Image
When I Talk With U,I Know The MeaningOf Understanding.. ... When I Laugh With U,I Know The Meaning Of happiness… When I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When your teacher thinks that something she said was funny, and the rest of the class is sitting there like, no. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“For every guy who loves being a dad, there’s another who realizes too late that he’s created something his wife loves more… — Mark R. Brand Copy Share Image
The blonde was always careful to remove her watch before putting on bug spray because she didn't want it to kill the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Ty grabbed my phone and threatened to tell Otter that I liked being spanked during sex. This proceeded to lead up on… — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
You cannot hope to bribe or twist, thank God! The British journalist. But seeing what the man will do unbribed, there's no… — Humbert Wolfe Copy Share Image
It is often said that the Japanese are extremely clean at home, or inside any house or office, but dirty and untidy… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do. — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
If you're trying to make something funny, and it doesn't feel like you're always getting something, it doesn't have quite a lot… — Ty Burrell Copy Share Image
Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
True love. When wife pulls her husband, whos fully drunk, to bed & tries removing his shirt & husband replies- LADY¦ LEAVE… — AaRon CcHan Copy Share Image
It’s one thing to see yourself going across the ticker…But to take someone else down, that’s another. I really can’t even explain… — Brandon Marshall Copy Share Image
I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
“The lot of the bride to be wed before bed desired until rotten. The lot of the author to be read before… — Roman Payne Copy Share Image
Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of… — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
When I met the Beatles, they were wearing these funny little leather jackets, which inspired me. I had a suit made for… — Astrid Kirchherr Copy Share Image
On his daughter's diaper: There was so much poop. It didn't look like a baby's poop. It looked like a 55-year-old alcoholic… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Live every day as if it's your last, and while you're at it; remember life is too short to drink bad red… — Hugo Smienk Copy Share Image
“The people closest to RBG find her entrance to the zeitgeist hilarious, if perplexing. “It’s hard for me to think of someone… — Irin Carmon Copy Share Image
I hate when in scary movies, the person yells out, Hello? As if the bad guy is gonna be like, Yeah, I'm… — Jugi Steady Copy Share Image
“It was the first time her eyes had really met mine and to be honest I think there was more warmth between… — Kaal Kaczmarek Copy Share Image
Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was… — Tallulah Bankhead Copy Share Image
