Some of the pictures I must say every now and then I just think are going to be funny. When it gets… — Martin Mull Copy Share Image
Wouldn't it be funny if I were a total nightmare? If I just shot 21-hour days and went over budget? But, you… — Pamela Adlon Copy Share Image
I have a weak stomach. My wife is a doctor, so she finds it funny that I actually pass out when I… — Christopher Denham Copy Share Image
“All I can do is look at him. Up close, I get a better view; there's no denying the fact he is… — Hannah Harrington Copy Share Image
They said dress for the job you want not the job you have, so I dressed like Mr India and didn't show… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“The first way not to shake hands is executed by receiving someone’s hand in yours and proceeding to squeeze it tightly, hurting… — Weston Locher Copy Share Image
“You were spying on me?" I repeated, this time my tone was stern. "Nonsense! I was making sure you were safe." He… — Grace Fiorre Copy Share Image
“ “Fuck! ” I shouted and everyone at the espresso counter looked over at us. “Half a million dollars?” Lee dropped his… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
Society is composed of two great classes, those that have more dinners than appetite, and those who have more appetite than dinners. — Nicolas Chamfort Copy Share Image
We've seen some insane signs: 'Is that a loaf of bread in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'… — Josh Hutcherson Copy Share Image
Humor was how I got through everything in my life. I used to find a funny way to get out of situations.… — Jermaine Fowler Copy Share Image
My dad has an incredible passion for living life, and he's really, really funny, so he definitely encourages me to enjoy all… — Spencer Grammer Copy Share Image
What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? "Well, we ain't rich folk, but on special occasions, I'll… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I'm just going to be honest with you. It's hard to go out there and fight for 60 minutes when you're fighting… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I wasn’t afraid of your average dark alley. I had standard Agency-issue spells in my coat and a nine millimeter in my… — J.C. Nelson Copy Share Image
Willy Wonka: everything in this room is eatable. yes, I am eatable but that, children is called cannibelism and is frowned upon… — Charlie And The Choc Factory Copy Share Image
When women are seen on TV being crass or funny or making jokes or undercutting someone, then you feel it's socially acceptable… — Megan Ganz Copy Share Image
“I squinted one of my eyes at Daniel. “What are you doing?” he asked. “This is me, giving you the side eye.”… — Hodkin Michelle Copy Share Image
“His hand cups the back of my neck, and before I can think, he dips down and our mouths meet. For a… — Tera Lynn Childs Copy Share Image
There's a kind of funny gap between 14 and 20 when young people don't read very much. Nobody really knows what to… — Lloyd Alexander Copy Share Image
I think I saw 'Ghost' at, like, 6 or 7 - like, a little too early to see 'Ghost' - but I… — Nicole Byer Copy Share Image
I ordered a club sandwich, but I'm not even a member. "I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread." "Well, so… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I love cookbooks. I certainly have my fair share at home, but I'm a really funny cookbook person: I don't really ever… — Christina Tosi Copy Share Image
“Oscar reties his bandana. 'You'll see, little bro. Soon you'll be taking European vacations with Jane and the rest of the Cobalt… — Becca Ritchie Copy Share Image
I'm usually sort of ambiguous in terms of whether I'm playing a good person or a bad person. I can walk that… — Amy Hill Copy Share Image
The great thing for me about 'The Resurrection of Gavin Stone' is it's a throwback to the old fashioned Hollywood movie that… — D. B. Sweeney Copy Share Image
I advise you all, don't mess with me. I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.. ;) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I started out, everyone seemed to be adopting these names... Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious. I wasn't really Rotten or Vicious or… — Billy Idol Copy Share Image
Thanks a lot for coming to my birthday. Let me I almost stretched myself to pick you from home and drop you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I first began to write fiction, I didn't think I was a comic writer; I thought I was a serious writer.… — Anthony Burgess Copy Share Image
Given the current state of publishing, I think it helps to have a brand name on the cover of your book. Comedians… — Michael Showalter Copy Share Image
My favorite type of pet has always been a dog. They're loyal, kind, and offer endless affection. My friend Eric says, 'The… — Brendon Urie Copy Share Image
The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try… — Jo Brand Copy Share Image
We, as Americans, at least - I mean, I love my country - but we're so self-righteous sometimes, in terms of, like,… — Peter Dinklage Copy Share Image
“When I was younger I used to think that band-aids did all the work. I mean after all, it binds your wound… — Onee'sha Ford Copy Share Image
Our reputations do not come from how we talk about ourselves. Our reputations come from how others talk about us. — Simon Sinek Copy Share Image
3 men were drunk,they stopped a taxi.The taxi driver figured that they were drunk,he just switched on the engine & switched it… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some fast food places, they have that ketchup pump. It's like a keg. They give you the paper shot glass. I always… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
During a test when the teacher passes by, you cover your answers with your hand so that the teacher cant see how… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Home. The word circled comfortably in my mouth like bubble gum, swished around sweetly soft and satisfying. Home. Try saying it aloud… — Sol Luckman Copy Share Image
