Communication, trust, and affection, is the true foundation of every good relationship¦.. If one is missing¦.. LOVE cannot survive¦ — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I love Deadmau5 as a producer, as a person. He's super interesting. He's very funny to follow on social media. But as… — Martin Garrix Copy Share Image
Scientia potentia est, sed parva; quia scientia egregia rara est, nec proinde apparens nisi paucissimis, et in paucis rebus. Scientiae enim ea… — Thomas Hobbes Copy Share Image
One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved… — Psyche_Zeroh Copy Share Image
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“Lilli . . . Lilli . . . Lilli.” Sweet Jesus, she was going to kill him. She’d just gotten to sleep.… — Susan Fanetti Copy Share Image
It's funny how people will think I'm being sarcastic a lot and joking. So I'll say, "I like your dress," and they'll… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Nothing is more dishonorable than an old man, heavy with years, who has no other evidence of his having lived long except… — Seneca Copy Share Image
What color is the sky in your world Cena. You're talking what Wrestlmania needs to be, but allow me to demenstrate what's… — Ron Killings Copy Share Image
An anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field trip to New Guinea with reports of a tribe so primitive… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Being a hoe is kinda like being an alcoholic, once you are one you'll always be considered one, you're either a hoe… — John Vercetti Copy Share Image
Being angry is not necessarily bad, some the best things were invented by angry people. Lamborghini didn't produce a single car until… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
“Kylie flopped back against the seat again, enjoying the look of disbelief on the vampire’s face a little too much. “Would you… — c.c hunter Copy Share Image
When a Spanish actor does an accent, that's sexy. When Peter Sellers did a French accent in 'Pink Panther,' that's funny -… — Jimmy O. Yang Copy Share Image
I'd love to do a film with Mariah. But it would have to be a comedy. She's the funniest woman in the… — Nick Cannon Copy Share Image
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but usually manages to pick himself up, walk over or around it, and carry on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm always trying to find the next comedian that just gives me something a little funny to combine with all of the… — Jesse Williams Copy Share Image
I'm funny with food, even if it's vegan. I like it well well, well, well done. I don't want anything there that… — Ghostface Killah Copy Share Image
“It's a booley village," Ian told her. "The islanders used to take their animals into the hills for the summ. They'd camp… — O.R. Melling Copy Share Image
When we are bored we get on Facebook, then we get bored on Facebook so we get off then 15 min later… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
There was an austerely dignified award ceremony. By that I mean we had to buy our own drinks - in clear violation… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My sister wanted to be an actress. She never made it, but she does live in a trailer... so she got halfway.… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
We spend a lot of time on Skype and other video interviews, and it's funny how many people will prepare for a… — Kathryn Minshew Copy Share Image
“Bailey, where’s your hat?” “In my pocket, sir!” “Why isn’t it on your head?” “Because I can’t get my head in my… — Robyn Carr Copy Share Image
I grew up watching horror films from a very young age. My sister was never able to watch scary movies; I don't… — Daniel Zovatto Copy Share Image
Pretending to be committed is very difficult when actually all the time ur phone rings is just because your mom calls u :( — Jaseem Kapoor Copy Share Image
It's funny: I can never sleep between shows; I think it's because I don't like to switch the motor off. I'll probably… — Richard McCabe Copy Share Image
I like "Rock, Paper, Scissors Two-Thirds." You know. "Rock breaks scissors." "These scissors are bent. They're destroyed. I can't cut stuff. So… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
That awkward moment during a test and you don't know any of the answers, so you just start laughing because you know… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Any joke can be funny, but not any joke is funny. Any joke has the potential to be hilarious to you, but… — Phoebe Robinson Copy Share Image
Averages don't always reveal the most telling realities. You know, Shaquille O'Neal and I have an average height of 6 feet. — Robert Reich Copy Share Image
That horrifying moment when your mom says... I need to talk to you. And u think of everything you did wrong this… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Amy Sherman-Palladino is very funny. She's got just natural timing and comedic instinct. And she writes in a comedic rhythm. — Alex Borstein Copy Share Image
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wont stand… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
At the moment the wind blows at my face…I close my eyes and feel you kissed. Thats why I can't resist facing… — Fairy_thale Copy Share Image
I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
