Look at the people who are kind of the funniest cultures, they're the cultures of the people who have been the most… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
“My phone buzzed in the center console again. "What's happening with this thing?" Dad grabbed it. "Dad, really?" I didn't want him… — C.D. Reiss Copy Share Image
When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence level in both states. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
High school is neither a democracy nor a dictatorship - nor, contrary to popular belief, an anarchic state. High school is a… — John Green Copy Share Image
The last five years I've really worked on my mental health and seeing a therapist - which, it's so funny cause I… — Jessica Long Copy Share Image
Burning Ants. As a kid: oh, no! the city of Townsville is on Fire! Now: hey! where are you going!? COME AVENGE… — Nutella Umbrella Copy Share Image
“Charley's "FOR THE LOVE OF": “Oh,FOR THE LOVE OF gravy” “Just be honest with me, FOR THE LOVE OF applesauce, Gemma.” “But… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
It's funny: not too many people used to think that Brittany was a culinary treasure, but there's such amazing stuff. Beef and… — Dominique Crenn Copy Share Image
Things can be funny when people are uneasy. It softens them up and stops them falling asleep on the sofa. I like… — Mark Haddon Copy Share Image
Bunty is a piglet that comes up with a lot of funny antics. Dancing is among its strengths and I'm glad people… — Ravi Babu Copy Share Image
Love is a feeling that is really hard to explain, but its the greatest feeling you could ever have. But love could… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I love actors, and I love the casting process. It's funny, like, some writers don't like actors because, I think, they are… — Bryan Fuller Copy Share Image
“Weetzie could see him--it was a man, a little man in a turban, with a jewel in his nose, harem pants, and… — Francesca Lia Block Copy Share Image
“If you mean the ease with which you drop coins when you're off a-cunting, you're right. You're a one-man charity ball for… — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Sometimes I get super lazy.. its same like normal lazy..its just that I am wearing a cape and a bright underwear. — Asif Copy Share Image
A good friend would bail you out of jail, but your best friend would be the one sitting next to you saying,… — Gorgeous_girl Copy Share Image
A Belated Teachers' Day Its A Humble Request 80% Of Teachers r Suffering From Throat Pain By Teaching Students. So Plz .… — Sadie Copy Share Image
No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park… — Trey Parker Copy Share Image
“Thank you.” A bright blush stained her cheeks. “For last night. For chasing the monsters away…” “Anytime. It’s kind of my job… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The British are apt to make merits of their stupidities, and to represent their various incapacities as points of good breeding. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
When I hear somebody like Hayes Carll write a song that's touching and poignant and sad and funny all at the same… — Jason Isbell Copy Share Image
I may not be funny. I may not be a singer. I may not be a damn seamstress. I may have diabetes.… — Justin Johnson Copy Share Image
Size does matter. There's a lot of ways to make people feel good, but personally I think it does enhance things. — Pamela Anderson Copy Share Image
You can't fake comedy. You can't make it look beautiful or put an interesting bit of music on in the background: funny… — Aisling Bea Copy Share Image
Two whales walked into a bar. One said, Weeeeeeeee-ooooooooo-uuuuuuuuuu-hhhh. The other whale said, Shut up, Steve. You're drunk! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I always wanted to know how long 'forever' was and by looking at some people's relationships, it's around 3 to 4 weeks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“That’s probably the most sincere thing that I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.” Logan lowered his eyes to Tate’s hand.… — Ella Frank Copy Share Image
“If you tell anyone what I just told you, I’ll call the Mob. I know some of them, you know.” “Bullshit.” I… — Jamie McGuire Copy Share Image
Memory, like so much else, is unreliable. Not only for what it hides and what it alters, but also for what it… — Anna Funder Copy Share Image
In New York, you are constantly faced with this very urgent decision that you have to make, about every twenty minutes...you have… — David Cross Copy Share Image
“Pritkin, it’s a hotel room, not a death trap!” A glance over his shoulder showed him impatient blue eyes under a fall… — Karen Chance Copy Share Image
The idea of me being an icon or something is a very funny thing, just because of my own weird insecurities. But,… — JPEGMAFIA Copy Share Image
They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
After more than half a century (Sleeping Beauty), Disney finally know what the meaning of true love (Maleficent). — Alvin Copy Share Image
It is funny how it is almost more painful to fall over and scrape your knee than to be blown up. Your… — Giles Duley Copy Share Image
When you feel that nobody loves you, that nobody cares, when all you can do is cry and walk away because everyone… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
![“They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.” quote by Jerome K. Jerome](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/1c0/jerome-k-jerome-1155_about-yourself_they-dogs-never-talk-about-themselves-bu_76454.jpg)
