“Madame will forgive me for not perceiving her busyness. It is a sign of the highest breeding to be able to be… — Louis de Bernières Copy Share Image
“I'll get them out and come back. I promise." "On your word as a cutthroat and a pirate?" He touched my cheek… — Leigh Bardugo Copy Share Image
Thanksgiving, you get food. Christmas, you get gifts. New Year's, you have drinks. Valentine's, you have sex. Birthday, you can do all… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girls on Periods - I'm fine. I hate you. I love you. I want ice cream. Come here. Get away. You're cute.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A lot of my stories about the old days, they're delicious and funny. But every time I recall the early days, it's… — Mario Cuomo Copy Share Image
“You know it feels good. I can hardly geta…I don’t even…” There was something amusing about watching him trying to form a… — Charlotte Stein Copy Share Image
Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you… — Evan Davis Copy Share Image
“I used to wonder why I had hair on my legs, but now I know it's for my toddler sons and daughters… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“I stared down into his handsome face while my mouth gaped like a fish. Oh my good God. No wonder I had… — Nichole Chase Copy Share Image
Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Last, but by no means least, courage - moral courage, the courage of one's convictions, the courage to see things through. The… — Douglas MacArthur Copy Share Image
Personnely I think that conservatives & liberals should move towards the middle of the road. Makes it easier to run'em over. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's funny now how much we look at - whatever you want to call it: art, design, culture stuff, film - online,… — Mike Mills Copy Share Image
School is pointless! English: We speak it. History: They're dead, get over it. Math: 1+1 = 2 Beyonce taught us that. Spanish: We have Dora... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“When have I ever given him the impression that I was okay with him just stopping by whenever he wanted to use… — Nash Summers Copy Share Image
“What the fuck?" That was me. Pete‘s not an f-word kinda guy. Me? My current record is eighty-two F-bombs in under a… — Adrienne Wilder Copy Share Image
I think it would be funny for people to read in obituaries of me that my major contribution to the arts was… — Tao Lin Copy Share Image
A man who fails is funny... if my sketches teach anything, it is that, for the male, sex is a snare and… — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
Fulo ki hasi Gulab hai, Padhne k liye jaruri kitab h, Duniya me hr sawal ka javab h, Agr koi mere bare… — Sadie Copy Share Image
The thing about 'Harry Potter' is it's great fun because of the people - I was usually with Julie Walters and Mark… — David Thewlis Copy Share Image
One hundred infidels committed suicide as they entered the holy city of Baghdad. Their tanks will become their tombs. — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
I have never pretended to be any kind of super-religious kind of man, but I feel very strongly that you can be… — Jonathan Winters Copy Share Image
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I just got engaged. My fiancée won't take my name because Lisa Levin sounds awful. So she's just going to remain Lisa… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The funny thing is that when you have any form of presentation to your band, meaning you have the foresight to see… — Nikki Sixx Copy Share Image
You hear a lot of rap songs about spending money. I thought, wouldn't it be funny to make a song about saving… — Lil Dicky Copy Share Image
Everybody knows how much time Fang spends in bed. A local store that gives a 30 days' trial on mattresses gives Fang… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
“Funny how that works, isn’t it? We don’t even realize what we’ve lost until it’s right in front of us once again.” — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
You arent the only one sitting home alone on a Saturday night. Wonder if your future boyfriend/girlfriend is doing the same thing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“As it happens, I’m a terrible dancer. Bears are simply not made for dancing. We’re much better at sitting and sleeping and… — Doug MacLeod Copy Share Image
The day was warm and clear. Kids were playing soccer in the parking lots and women were sunning their babies and having… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“St. Clair gets a crush on Anna. He's torn between her and Ellie, and he spends so much time running between them… — Stephanie Perkins Copy Share Image
From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
'Remember, nothing says good job, like a firm, open-palm slap on the behind!' - Sexual Harassment Training Video — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As the funny guy, the funny frat bro, any time I try out for that role, I get it. Like, I walk… — Logan Paul Copy Share Image
The boys, they are laughing: 'Oh, you are boxing. Very funny.' But I always challenge when people are laughing - 'I'll show… — Mary Kom Copy Share Image
I find it quite funny how other players or fans can do what they want to goalies who stand there on their… — Aaron Ramsdale Copy Share Image
In spite of a heavy disguise, a few days' growth on my face, dark glasses, a beret and one of William's jackets… — Laurence Olivier Copy Share Image
