Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious. — Og Mandino Copy Share Image
I didn't cheat on my test, I was just inspired by other students' answers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's celebrate our freedom to complain about July 4th falling in the middle of the week. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Living in England, provincial England, must be like being married to a stupid but exquisitely beautiful wife. — Margaret Halsey Copy Share Image
“It was a fine day by London's standards. Which meant it was a day slightly less likely to suffocate you and poison… — Stefan Bachmann Copy Share Image
So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal'… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
10 years ago, I would've host Saturday Night Live. But to me, the show has declined. For some reason, humor isn't what… — Dick Van Dyke Copy Share Image
Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers. — Judith Martin Copy Share Image
“Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
You get to a new school, and you're the new guy, or you're the foreigner, or you're the guy with the funny… — Edgar Ramirez Copy Share Image
Yeah, it constantly feels like you're constantly checking if you're funny enough, because I think this country's naturally funny. I think the… — Lucy Beaumont Copy Share Image
