I'd do anything to honor our veterans, short of sitting through a Veterans Day gathering, parade, or speech. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your hand touches someone's ass by mistake. lol — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“I was performing my ritual of sipping tea, shooting flirtatious glances and planning murder” — Mingmei Yip Copy Share Image
The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's… — Scott Wood Copy Share Image
You can film me 24 hours a day and you'll get a very accurate picture of who I am. You see the… — Lisa Vanderpump Copy Share Image
I used to do pranks in college. I'd fill a trash can with water, lean it on my friends' doors, knock on… — Patrick Chung Copy Share Image
It was genuinely horrible. I stopped using Twitter for a while because I got so much s**t about being anorexic. And Im… — Alexa Chung Copy Share Image
God has not sent a woman on the earth to 'fulfill' lustful physically satisfaction of the man only, rather she has sent… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I do find it funny, actually, why I'm not more of a Corbyn fan. I am a classic Corbyn fan, really. Not… — Jess Phillips Copy Share Image
I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
