A lot of women don't like to give blow jobs. On a related note: A lot of marriages fail. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven't even happened yet. — Anne Frank Copy Share Image
A difficult situation, not for one individual, but for everybody — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
It's hard for me to say I love you because the word you isn't beer or sex or football. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Girls have unique powers; they get wet without water, bleed without injury and make boneless things hard .. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
History is something that never happened told by someone who wasn't there. — Ramon Gomez de la Serna Copy Share Image
Australia is not very exclusive. On the visa application they still ask if you've been convicted of a felony - although they… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get to leave. Somebody make that a law, please. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yes, I am thoroughly enjoying retirement! The best part is observing my neighbors drive off to work in the morning knowing that… — Bill Kalmar Copy Share Image
When an illness knocks you on your ass, you should stay down and relax for a while before trying to get back… — Candea Core-Starke I Enjoy Convalescence It Is The Part That Makes The Illness Worthwhile George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Porsche is a driver's car - a performance car. That was funny - here's this awesome car, but it's got no cup… — Jason McCoy Copy Share Image
It was funny to hear that I'd slapped Bieber. I thought it was a joke. Then it blew up. I probably got… — Blake Griffin Copy Share Image
“In between bites of banana, Mr. Remora would tell stories, and the children would write the stories down in notebooks, and every… — Lemony Snicket Copy Share Image
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
If you can be funny, it means you're intelligent. Your brain is working fast. — Amber Valletta Copy Share Image
He who reads much and understands much, receives his fill. He who is full, refreshes others. — Ambrose Copy Share Image
The truth doesn't hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn't hurt. It's better to know the truth. — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
We were very aggressive, and when we're aggressive, it's hard to stop us. — Kerri Walsh Copy Share Image
“Some people ate less food less often when they each had a home than they now do as hobos.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
That heart attack moment when your phone is in a different pocket than normal so you start to panic.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine. — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
“The funny thing about the heart is a soft heart is a strong heart, and a hard heart is a weak heart.” — Criss Jami Copy Share Image
It's funny how a few words from you could make me feel a million times better. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Money cant buy happiness but some how its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a cycle! — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Once we know something, we find it hard to imagine what it was like not to know it. — Chip Heath Copy Share Image
The point of being over 40 is to fulfill the desires you've been harboring since you were 7. — Guillermo del Toro Copy Share Image
If the Lord hasn't got a boyfriend lined up for me to marry, that's his business. — Barbara Kingsolver Copy Share Image
The internet should have a place where you can officially register as an Ass Guy or Boob Guy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to make a picture about the Russian secret police - the GOP. — Samuel Goldwyn Copy Share Image
No man is the boss of his own house, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
I'm known for taking pictures very close, and the older I get, the closer I get. — Bruce Gilden Copy Share Image
