It's not that music is too imprecise for words, but too precise… — Felix Mendelssohn Copy Share Image
Clapping the longest during the assembly because you're a fearless bastard. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One can't indefinitely do for somebody what he is reluctant to do for himself. — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
I know of nothing more laughable than a doctor who does not die of old age. — Voltaire Copy Share Image
We come from an inconceivable nothingness. We stay a while in something which seems equally inconceivable, only to vanish again into the… — Peter Wessel Zapffe Copy Share Image
I knew about boxing, as my dad could fight. He had a successful security firm in Liverpool, and I'd see him come… — Tony Bellew Copy Share Image
I can at any moment convert my time into money, but I do not require more of the latter than is sufficient… — Michael Faraday Copy Share Image
Olympic organizers are reportedly struggling to fill rows and rows of empty seats. Empty seats! In fact, yesterday officials put out a… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The funny thing is, the music that I'm writing now is probably some of the most cutting edge we've ever done. The… — Charlie Daniels Copy Share Image
Man to a superhot Air Hostess: Whats your name? Air hostess: Eva Benz Man: Lovely name Any relation with Mercedes Benz? Air… — AzAz Copy Share Image
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good,… — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
Define Nanosecond : The time required for a guy to finish a conversation the moment he finds out the girl he's talking… — Naeem Copy Share Image
Let's discuss where to put a beach chair instead of where to put a mosque. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just remember, I can always make your death look like an accident. :) — Celeste Hartman Copy Share Image
It is the English-speaking nations who, almost alone, keep alight the torch of Freedom. — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
Hey that's not fair! - A dumb bitch realizing she got bad directions to the fair. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Certain directors have that eye where something is beautiful as well as funny. — Lolly Adefope Copy Share Image
There's no abhorrence about wearing M&S. We just haven't been delighting the girls. — Stuart Rose Copy Share Image
The moment someone says, 'Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song,' your party is over. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
Early to bed and early to rise makes a person dull, boring, and despised. — Ernie J Zelinski Copy Share Image
“Why does the world hate me?” They both laughed, but it wasn’t funny. SERIOUSLY. Why does the world hate me?” — Cora Carmack Copy Share Image
Make someone happy, Make just one someone happy, And you will be happy, too. — Jimmy Durante Copy Share Image
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray! — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better. :) Life: LOL, give me a second! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How does one make a movie about decadence these days? Now that we're allowed to do it, it's too late. — Wilfrid Sheed Copy Share Image
“An educated theologian: someone who's better at rationalizing what they're pretending to know.” — Peter Boghossian Copy Share Image
I don't wanna be labeled as straight or labeled as gay. I just want people to look at me and see me… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
